A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I have a friend who lives by a three-word philosophy: Seize the Moment. Just possibly, she may be the wisest woman on… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Friends are "annuals" that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a "perennial" that comes up year after year, enduring the… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
It is upsetting to many parents that their teen-agers introduce them to their friends as encyclopedia salesmen who are just passing through… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The woman who says, 'My kids are all speaking to one another and they love us' is a psychopathic liar. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To say, "Well, I write when I really get into it" is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?! — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The mole rat is the only rodent born without a fur coat. With a good lawyer, someone would pay for that little oversight. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity.… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
