“he wants my head on a platter.” “You just make friends wherever you go, don’t you?” “It’s weird, right?” — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
An integral part of any best friend's job is to immediately clear your computer history if you die. — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
“As I look back at what I could have accomplished if I’d had the courage, I wish I could tell you to… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
She didn't smile back. Not even a little. I totally needed to read that book on how to win friends and influence… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
Garret Swopes was a lot like a hot gay friend only he wasn't gay, which was too bad because then I could… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
“I called my friend Pari on the way home. "I need you to do my apt." "I'm not that attracted to your… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought. — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
I have three words for you," EMT Guy said. "Possible internal bleeding." I turned back to him. "Don't you think if I was bleeding… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand. — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
“Oh, my god, I don't know. What do you want?" "You," he said, his voice lowering an octave. "I want you, Dutch, body and… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
“If ever there was a time to carry a flashlight, it would definitely be at night.” — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
In three hundred feet, turn right," Darth Vader said. The Darth Vader. I felt like we were friends now. Like I could tell him… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
“The asshole slipped Peggy a five-spot to bring him his burger first. Never trust a man with a penis.” — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
“I reported to work the next morning looking like something the cat dragged in, half eaten yet somehow still alive.” — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
