Distress: A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Friendship: A ship big enough for two in fair weather, but only one in foul. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
That part of your friend which it is your privilege to contemplate in your adversity — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
EXPOSTULATION, n. One of the many methods by which fools prefer to lose their friends. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands, you are safe, for you can watch both his. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
The future is that period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true, and our happiness is assured. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
When you have made a catalogue of your friend's faults it is only fair to supply him with a duplicate, so that… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Acquaintance is a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor and obscure, and intimate when he is rich and… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
ACQUAINTANCE, n. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. A degree of… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Indigestion: A disease which the patient and his friends frequently mistake for deep religious conviction and concern for the salvation of mankind.… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
I keep a conscience uncorrupted by religion, a judgment undimmed by politics and patriotism, a heart untainted by friendships and sentiments unsoured… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was once more common than it is now. Arasthus… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
