The first ads for medical marijuana have started airing on television in California. The ads are quite expensive. It costs a lot… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
So far rich people have been very quiet about the possibility of getting taxes raised on them, but that doesn't mean they… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Here in Los Angeles, school's out for summer. For thousands of school kids, this is the first week of summer vacation. And… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Love at first sight is not rare, in fact it is extremely common, it happens to some people a few times a… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
The new Pope, Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio, is now Pope Francis the 1st. Francis was not his first choice for a name.… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
This is my first week as an American citizen. It's amazing. Now I can vote in the general election- and for American… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
A woman in Germany gave birth to a 13 1/2 pound baby. That baby was so fat his first word was strudel. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
The first day of spring is known as the vernal equinox. The equinox is special. It only happens twice a year, like… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Saudia Arabia takes in half a trillion dollars every year in oil revenue, and the country has a population smaller than New… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Fraser's mother, Janice, was actually quite a happy soul but she had to hide it because, like all pseudo intellectuals, she thought… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Ros was dead. He had loved heroin more than it loved him. I was shocked beyond imagining; he was the first of… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
For the first time in history, Congress has 100 women in it. Congratulations. Welcome to modern times, America. It's great having 100… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
“I was ambitious and desperate to direct my first film, so I capitulated and blew it. Never again. Never fucking again.” — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Sometimes people think you’re smart if you question the status quo, if nothing else. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Sober alkies are often asked: "When did you hit rock bottom?" but a more informed question might be: "How many times did you hit… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Remember the band, Flock of Seagulls? They had their van stolen. I was like, They still have a van? — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
People spend thousands of dollars trying to keep their teeth straight. I just hope we can live in a world where we accept gay… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
People are saying that Anderson Cooper could be the new Oprah. And then these people are struck by lightning. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I think comedy comes more from a low sense of self-esteem, and I certainly have that. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
For my birthday that year Anne gave me an inflatable atlas globe, along with a birthday card in which she wrote: I give you… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
