“I remember the first time we made love like it was the second time. We never made love again, and I don’t… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Apple is the Ferrari of the computer world. I’m not sure if the “engine” is superior, however, but the frame sure is… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If a molar-shaped asteroid crashed down from the heavens and crushed my testicles, I'd probably have to cancel my dental appointment with… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Amnesia is not the only time you’ll forget who you are. It’ll also happen the first time you see your own clone.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to keep me single. Not that I need any help from anybody or anything to stay single.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The last time I was there was the first time I was there, but it’s not the last time I’ll go there,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I retired at the age of 25, and it wasn’t until a few days later that I realized that in order to… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. We picked up where we left off, with leftovers, and I said this was the best… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When I’m introduced to a woman for the first time, I always say the same thing. I say, “Hi, I’m Jarod, and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
