They say shitting is a call of nature does that mean farting is a missed call? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Oh, and it'd be nice if I could fellate myself while farting the White album, but I haven't quite mastered that yet. — Hank Moody Copy Share Image
Farting is natures way of telling someone to fuck off but in a nicer way. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Suddenly, the gods have stopped saying yes and have started making really obnoxious farting noises. In my face. With their armpits.” — Jody Gehrman Copy Share Image
I'm not a fan of purposely farting in front of other people. If you have to fart, leave the room. — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when your chair makes a farting noise and you can't make the noise again to prove u didn't fart… — Lol Copy Share Image
“However, neither occasion quite matched the levels of hilarity that ensued on the day Mr Miller sat on the corner of his… — Simon Pegg Copy Share Image
On My First Driving Lesson “First things first: A car has five gears. What is that smell?…Okay, first thing before that first… — Justin Halpern Copy Share Image
“This Nicholas anon leet fle a fart As greet as it had been a thonder-dent, That with the strook he was almoost… — Geoffrey Chaucer Copy Share Image
“Of all the various kinds of sexual intercourse, this has the least to recommend it. As an amusement, it is too fleeting;… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I'm too old to be farting around with stuff that isn't precisely what I want to do. — Wes Borland Copy Share Image
Farting isn't ladylike? Well, neither is giving a blowjob, but I have never heard you complaining about that! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
There are only two instances when farting and pooping in your pants is acceptable--when you are an infant, or are at Walmart. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“... "shagging" - a quasi-comical activity, like belching or farting, except it was more taboo and more necessary than these.” — Amit Chaudhuri Copy Share Image
Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do. — Graham Norton Copy Share Image
Girls don't poop, so don't claim you do. You can fart - because farting is funny - but we don't want to… — Ryan Hansen Copy Share Image
“I had to admit it was adorable. You know, in a unicorns-farting-out-rainbows kind of way that made me want to hurl.” — Gemma Halliday Copy Share Image
If you are trying to impress a woman, leave any sort of show farting out of the equation. — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
Choosing to have a child you can't take care of is like farting in an elevator. Sure you got it out, but… — Richard Jeni Copy Share Image
We were doing a gig in Spain and yet again had four hotel rooms that never get used. We always share a… — Leigh-Anne Pinnock Copy Share Image
“I fart, you fart, he farts, she farts. Let’s not deny it, people. Farting is a regular, healthy, and hilarious part of… — Neil Pasricha Copy Share Image
I don't feel so good." Lula said. And she farted. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long fart.… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“I would like to believe in the myth that we grow wiser with age. In a sense my disbelief is wisdom. Those… — Patrick White Copy Share Image
“A celebrity farts, and everyone endures, but the unpopular will be thrased to death.” — Michael Bassey Johnson Copy Share Image
I suppose the difference between baby people and me is that I do not consider smiling while farting 'holding up your end… — Lizz Winstead Copy Share Image
