I climbed into Misery and called Uncle Bob. “We hooking up?” “Why does everything out of your mouth make me sound incestuous?”… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
Does Uncle Bob have anything?" "I heard he has an STD." "I mean on the women." "Oh, I have no idea if… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
Insanity does NOT run in my family. It strolls through, takes it's time, and gets to know everyone personally - T-Shirt — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
Before I tell you, I have to know three things," I said. "Okay." "One, are you sitting down?" "Yes." "Two, are you… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
Is it just me or does the fact that you live in the same building you were abducted into seem a bit… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
Does your uncle need anything? A coffee? A latte?” “He needs someone to bear his illegitimate child if you’re interested — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
Oh, I forgot to tell you," Cookie said. "Amber wants your dad to get a teriyaki machine so she can sing for… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought. — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
I have three words for you," EMT Guy said. "Possible internal bleeding." I turned back to him. "Don't you think if I was bleeding… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand. — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
“Oh, my god, I don't know. What do you want?" "You," he said, his voice lowering an octave. "I want you, Dutch, body and… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
“If ever there was a time to carry a flashlight, it would definitely be at night.” — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
In three hundred feet, turn right," Darth Vader said. The Darth Vader. I felt like we were friends now. Like I could tell him… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
“The asshole slipped Peggy a five-spot to bring him his burger first. Never trust a man with a penis.” — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
“I reported to work the next morning looking like something the cat dragged in, half eaten yet somehow still alive.” — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
