Death comes to those who wait. And to those who don't. So either way… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that. - T-shirt — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
While I was busy reminiscing about my first day on earth, I had forgotten that I was falling to my death. Damned… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
Felt my heartbeat falter, hesitate, then stumble awkwardly forward, tripping on the next beat, then the next, faster and faster until each… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
My real mom died when I was born—hemorrhaged to death while giving birth to me, which has never been one of my… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
“I was an atheist until I realized I was god. What happens if you get scared to death >twice. National sarcasm society:like… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
I know how you feel. I’ve been analyzed to death as well. Not, like, professionally, though I did date a psych major… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought. — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
I have three words for you," EMT Guy said. "Possible internal bleeding." I turned back to him. "Don't you think if I was bleeding… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand. — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
“Oh, my god, I don't know. What do you want?" "You," he said, his voice lowering an octave. "I want you, Dutch, body and… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
“If ever there was a time to carry a flashlight, it would definitely be at night.” — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
In three hundred feet, turn right," Darth Vader said. The Darth Vader. I felt like we were friends now. Like I could tell him… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
“The asshole slipped Peggy a five-spot to bring him his burger first. Never trust a man with a penis.” — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
“I reported to work the next morning looking like something the cat dragged in, half eaten yet somehow still alive.” — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
