“The world may be running out of water, but it isn’t running low on music. Let the dancing flow!” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Don’t mock my dress. I’ve got a dance recital after work. You’re invited—but it’s bring your own erection. You can’t borrow mine,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I love tables. And dancing. Oh, and I love table dancing, although Grandmother always says, "Wait until we're finished eating.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Music is inaudible to deaf people, just as dancing is invisible to me.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Fighting and dancing are kind of related. Especially if you dance with another man’s woman.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I have a recognition dance, to acknowledge that I heard and understood you. So when Savannah says she loves me, and I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m a dyslexic dancer. Instead of leading the women, I follow. Quick, cab driver, follow that woman!” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Her boyfriend can’t hold a candle to me. Especially not while I’m holding the strobe light. It’s hard to do modern dancing… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I have a "Waiter, there's a hair in my soup" dance. It involves platform shoes, a mustache, and a hair net.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“At my bachelor party I had Elton John’s “Tiny Dancer” play on repeat, while I enjoyed the spectacle of a midget stripper… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dancing? Not only do I have two left feet, but they’re different sizes. And I don’t put them in shoes—I store them… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I have a 12:34 representational time dance. I do it at 3:33 every other Tuesday (twice a day). If you’d like to… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Secure victory before you celebrate. Only a fool dances before crossing the finish line first.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Whenever I see a couple dancing, I think I could dance like that—if I were two people.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
