Jesus is not a candle. A company in South Dakota is selling candles with the scent of Jesus. You light one and… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Good presidents, people like George Bush, they SEND people to war. They don't bring them a rescue. This is America. We rescue… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Lip-synching?! Let that be a lesson. If you are in Washington, D.C., and you open your mouth and another voice comes out,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Do you want to know why marijuana is illegal? Because the drug companies want marijuana to be illegal. You see, if it… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Failing to warn the citizens of a looming weapon of mass destruction- and that's what global warming is- in order to protect… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
During the Depression, or back when we were fighting Hitler, people didn't have time to sue a company if the coffee was… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The House okayed the gasoline tax cut, which will increase the deficit, line the pockets of the oil companies, and hurt the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: Food companies must face the facts: One container equals one serving. Look, we’re Americans, and that means once we open… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Over the last 30 odd years, Democrats have moved to the right and the right has moved into the mental hospital. So… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad`s room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
