Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
OPERA, n. A play representing life in another world, whose inhabitants have no speech but song, no motions but gestures and no… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Conversation: A fair for the display of the minor mental commodities, each exhibitor being too intent upon the arrangement of his own… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
The speech of one who utters with his tongue what he thinks with his ear, and feels the pride of a creator… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Cribbage, n. A substitute for conversation among those to whom nature has denied ideas. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WEATHER, n. The climate of an hour. A permanent topic of conversation among persons whom it does not interest, but who have… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
ORATORY, n. A conspiracy between speech and action to cheat the understanding. A tyranny tempered by stenography. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RAREBIT n. A Welsh rabbit, in the speech of the humorless, who point out that it is not a rabbit. To whom… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DIGESTION, n. The conversion of victuals into virtues. When the process is imperfect, vices are evolved instead - a circumstance from which… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
“LEXICOGRAPHER, n. A pestilent fellow who, under the pretense of recording some particular stage in the development of a language, does what… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Slang is the speech of him who robs the literary garbage carts on their way to the dumps. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Mad; adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence; not conforming to standards of thought, speech, and action derived by the… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was once more common than it is now. Arasthus… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
