When you're 17 years old, you have no idea who you are as a person, so there's no way you can be… — Dana Gould Copy Share Image
Over the years, I'd hear Jon Stewart disavow being a journalist and say, 'No, I'm a comedian.' I'd be like, 'Stop pretending.… — W. Kamau Bell Copy Share Image
I can't stand tribute bands. It's nice, bless 'em, but it's not right. They can't capture the right spirit. You never see… — Dave Davies Copy Share Image
I pushed against doing a podcast for so long. I'm a very late comer to the podcast game. But you're responsibility as… — Kurt Braunohler Copy Share Image
With basketball, if a guy is having an off night you still can say he's a good athlete. But with a comedian,… — Gary Gulman Copy Share Image
If I get big laughs, I'm a comedian. If I get little laughs, I'm a humorist. If I get no laughs, I'm… — George Burns Copy Share Image
Every week Republicans are excited about a new candidate because the one they liked last week turned out to be a moron. — Andy Borowitz Copy Share Image
I would be so mad if I saw something called a memoir, and then it was Mike Birbiglia. It would be so… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
It’s sad. Marxism didn’t work. Communism didn’t work. Capitalism doesn’t work. Nothing works. Even democracy doesn’t work. Democracy-the greatest form of government… — Colin Quinn Copy Share Image
We live in a fun time with so many ways to express yourself, you would be crazy to be a comedian and… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
Comedians, we're just people who whine. But we happen to be funny when we whine. — Artie Lange Copy Share Image
As a wedding gift, Ray J gave Kim Kardashian his profits from their sex tape. It's 'Something Old' as well as 'Something… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I see myself primarily as a comedian, and my aim on the 'Last Leg' is to be as funny as I can… — Josh Widdicombe Copy Share Image
As a woman, it seems you can't just be a comedian; you're always classed as something else, too, whether that's 'beautiful,' 'pint-sized,'… — Miranda Hart Copy Share Image
If Jay spent as much time studying as he does trying to be a comedian, he'd be a big star. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
“I think in my old age I've come to realize just how precious everything is and I try to value the many… — Phil Hartman Copy Share Image
The three toughest fighters I ever fought were Sugar Ray Robinson, Sugar Ray Robinson and Sugar Ray Robinson. I fought Sugar so… — Jake LaMotta Copy Share Image
I went to L.A. to become an actress, and I started from the ground up. I worked as an extra, and then… — Anjelah Johnson Copy Share Image
