In Western Australia they don't even know how to make that vital piece of sailboating equipment, the gin and tonic. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Who does Bill Clinton think got off the boat and stepped on Plymouth Rock? Peace Corps volunteers? — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
A dugout is much superior to a conventional manufactured canoe because you can get soaking wet without bothering to capsize it. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Everything on a boat has a different name than it would have if it weren't on a boat. Either this is ancient… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
This is the most elaborate and luxurious method of convincing others that you can cook. Take everybody out on your yacht until… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
If the wind is blowing like stink and everything is working right, a twelve-meter sailboat can go eleven and a half or… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Australian language is easier to learn than boat talk. It has a vocabulary of about six words. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There are a lot of mysterious things about boats, such as why anyone would get on one voluntarily. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I don't think I'll ever be a real boat reporter. My Rolex isn't big enough. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The America's Cup is like driving your Lamborgini to the Gran Prix track to watch the charter buses race. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
No Americans wants to see somebody lose their house because of health bills. Their boat? Maybe. Maybe the boat. But not the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
