Our regulatory bodies strive to create honest dealings, fair trades, and a situation in which no one has an advantage over anyone… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I think it's always easy to be sympathetic to parts of the government in detail; in their concrete manifestations. Because obviously, we… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There is no virtue in compulsory government charity, and there is no virtue in advocating it. A politician who portrays himself as… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Toledo is better than exciting, it's happy. Because nothing is more conducive to unhappiness than taking yourself seriously, and taking yourself seriously… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Simply because something is a populist movement doesn't make it either good or bad. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
When you're a war correspondent, the reader is for you because the reader is saying, 'Gee, I wouldn't want to be doing… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Supposedly, summer vacation happens because that's when the kids are home from school, although having the kids home from school is no… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Like it or not, I've come to appreciate soccer. Any kid can play, which fits with the inclusive agenda of progressive schools.… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Democrats hate America being a world power because world power gives power to the nation instead of to Democrats. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Adam Smith is misread as being amoral precisely because people don't read his first book, because they don't read 'The Theory of… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
When you pay a hospital bill, you're really paying two hospital bills - one bill for you because you have a job… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Just because a subject is serious doesn't mean it doesn't have plenty of absurdities. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
New Hampshire polling data are unreliable because, when you call the Granite State's registered Republicans and independents in the middle of dinner… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Are you a Democrat because you're a union member? Then why, after eight years of Bill Clinton, does some Chinese guy in… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Most people sort of enjoy going to work because of the socialisation, a chance to flirt with co-workers and so on, but… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
No Americans wants to see somebody lose their house because of health bills. Their boat? Maybe. Maybe the boat. But not the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Medical researchers don't know much about head lice because they don't much care. The reason that they don't much care is, paradoxically,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Being a humorist is not a voluntary thing. You can tell this because in a situation where saying a funny thing will… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
