Animals Quotes by Ambrose Bierce

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

— Ambrose Bierce

HYDRA, n. A kind of animal that the ancients catalogued under many heads.

— Ambrose Bierce

MONKEY, n. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees.

— Ambrose Bierce

MOUSE, n. An animal which strews its path with fainting women.

— Ambrose Bierce

MAMMALIA, n.pl. A family of vertebrate animals whose females in a state of nature suckle their young, but when civilized and enlightened…

— Ambrose Bierce

PIG, n. An animal ("Porcus omnivorus") closely allied to the human race by the splendor and vivacity of its appetite, which, however,…

— Ambrose Bierce

MUMMY, n. - an ancient Egyptian handy, too, in museums in gratifying the vulgar curiosity that serves to distinguish man from the…

— Ambrose Bierce

WOMAN, n. An animal usually living in the vicinity of Man, and having a rudimentary susceptibility to domestication.

— Ambrose Bierce

MAN, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought…

— Ambrose Bierce

HYENA, n. A beast held in reverence by some oriental nations from its habit of frequenting at night the burial-places of the…

— Ambrose Bierce

A single swallow, it is said, devours ten millions of insects every year. The supplying of these insects I take to be…

— Ambrose Bierce

A leech who, having penetrated the shell of a turtle only to find that the creature has long been dead, deems it…

— Ambrose Bierce

ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Musca maledicta"). The father of Zoology…

— Ambrose Bierce

“Man, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably out…

— Ambrose Bierce

Hippogriff, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was itself a compound creature, half lion…

— Ambrose Bierce

LEVIATHAN, n. An enormous aquatic animal mentioned by Job. Some suppose it to have been the whale, but that distinguished ichthyologer, Dr.…

— Ambrose Bierce

CUNNING, n. The faculty that distinguishes a weak animal or person from a strong one. It brings its possessor much mental satisfaction…

— Ambrose Bierce

ASS, n. A public singer with a good voice but no ear. In Virginia City, Nevada, he is called the Washoe Canary,…

— Ambrose Bierce