I bowl like I masturbate: with two hands. I should run for…

Wrap the turkey up in aluminum foil, my brother like to masturbate with baby oil.

— Adam Sandler

I started watching videos of Shane Warne sir, and that's where I realized what leg-spin is. He was my idol, and I wanted to…

— Yuzvendra Chahal

You can't beat the Cotton Bowl. There's nothing like that.

— Baker Mayfield

“Handcuffs barely wrap around the girth of my penis. I should run for Congress.”

— Jarod Kintz

“My advice is to never masturbate in Cockburn Town.”

— Jarod Kintz

“My watch has two hands. So do I. I’d better watch my watch to see if it also masturbates.”

— Jarod Kintz

“What is art? Art is tar, rearranged. Art is tar on canvas or tar on tarp or tar on a naked body. Art is…

— Jarod Kintz

I decided to run for Congress because when I was approached as a community leader, I felt that one of the things that spoke…

— Jacky Rosen

“A man’s principles are his own. Man starts flip-flopping on what he believes based on outside influences and he may as well run for…

— J.J. Zep

When I was 27, having never run for office before, I decided to run for Congress.

— Krystal Ball

I was in the Minnesota state Senate from 2000 until 2006. In 2006, I was urged to run for Congress, I did. And I've…

— Michele Bachmann

The Tea Party movement went off on a more extreme agenda that I did not support at all, and was very frustrated by it,…

— Patrick Murphy

When I decided to run for Congress, I saw it as an opportunity to serve the South Jersey community that had become my home…

— Jon Runyan

While I've been asked to run for Congress, I really believe we need to defend freedom locally. And by doing that, by just standing…

— Matt Shea

I decided to run for Congress to get and keep people in the middle class.

— Raja Krishnamoorthi