Don’t leave me with her. What if her car breaks down…

Food, like anything else, lives in the physical world and obeys the laws of physics. When you whisk together some oil and a little…

— Nathan Myhrvold

Mayonnaise is basically the only condiment there is. Anything tastes better with lots of mayo... even a spoon.

— Tinsley Mortimer

Mayonnaise is a lot like men, it can make everything much better, adding flavor and ease to your life. Or, it can just be…

— Sarah Dessen

“Make sure you embrace days more than a jar does mayonnaise.”

— Noah Nichols

I'm not a person who writes really abstract things with oblique references. I look at abstraction like I look at condiments. Give me some…

— Wynton Marsalis

“Light mayonnaise is like masturbation—it approximates the real thing but leaves you unfulfilled, ultimately leading to fantasies about diving face-first into a big-ass jar…

— Susan Donovan

You don't use mayonnaise, why? ... Are you addicted to mayonnaise? Is it okay if I use mayonnaise? I could go outside...

— Jim Gaffigan

What exactly are the ingredients of Ranch dressing? Mayo and disappointment?

— Jim Gaffigan

When this girl at the museum asked me who I liked better, Monet or Manet, I said, "I like mayonnaise." She just stared at…

— Jack Handey

Toum is essentially a mayonnaise, but it's stabilized with garlic instead of egg. Just like mayo, toum is an emulsion of oil into water,…

— Sohla El-Waylly

Chic is a kind of mayonnaise, either it tastes, or it doesn't.

— Karl Lagerfeld

I spent my childhood eating. The only exercise I got was trying to twist off the cap of a jar of mayonnaise.

— Richard Simmons

“Q: Who invented mayonnaise?   A: Somebody with bad taste.”

— Barry Raspbody

Ultimately, mayonnaise and aioli are brothers from the same mother. Both are emulsions of oil and water, which just means that the two incompatible…

— Sohla El-Waylly

I love mayonnaise. It's one of the first lessons I teach my cooking students. Turning eggs and oil into an emulsion - that creamy,…

— Samin Nosrat