Twitter Quotes by Nikhil Saluja · Page 24

There is nothing like love in this world unless you experience it.

— Nikhil Saluja

I just asked Siri to give me directions to the nearest mental institute and it redirected me to Twitter.

— Nikhil Saluja

You are brave... when you overcome your fear and help others to do the same.

— Nikhil Saluja

Honey, you're getting Adele. - How I told my Girl friend she's getting fat.

— Nikhil Saluja

Well son, your mother and I met on Twitter, then later we... NO DON'T LOOK AT HER AVI

— Nikhil Saluja

Nothing boosts my ego like seeing someone steal my tweet. Please continue doing that.

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm happy I didn't belong to generation when people used gun powder to grow guns.

— Nikhil Saluja

WIFE, The one person who in an argument, if you win -- you lose;

— Nikhil Saluja

Broken hearts, love's deceit, pieces fall down to my feet. Broken promises, love's a lie, puddles form from the tears I cry.

— Nikhil Saluja

Twitter is like life. Sometimes, you have to pretend like you care about some people.

— Nikhil Saluja

When you have a bunch of cash in your wallet, you'll buy anything. But the last 10$ can last an entire week..

— Nikhil Saluja

Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

— Nikhil Saluja

SOCIALISM: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

— Nikhil Saluja

It's all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen.

— Nikhil Saluja

I love how the 140 character limit on twitter forces girls to get to the damn point.

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

— Nikhil Saluja

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

— Nikhil Saluja

Whenever I see a Caution: slippery when wet sign I hide it somewhere, then I sit down & enjoy the show.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, The process that turns a female from an attraction into a distraction;

— Nikhil Saluja

The only reason women need men around the house is because we haven't made a vibrator that can kill spiders.

— Nikhil Saluja

When a waitress brings the food, old men look at the food while young men look at the waitress.

— Nikhil Saluja

Me: Your face must turn a few heads. She: And your face must turn a few stomachs.

— Nikhil Saluja

Therapist: you should be in a mental institute Me: I'm already on Twitter

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, An event, for the upper middle class, is the only adventure left;

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, Something which is called a feast -- unfortunately, sometimes the appetiser is better than the main course;

— Nikhil Saluja

A surprise party is a great way to show your wife how awesome you are at lying to her face.

— Nikhil Saluja

Boys, Women are easy. Tell them they're pretty. Compliment some shit. Fuck them like you hate them. Easy.

— Nikhil Saluja

A girl leaves you breathless after sex. The woman leaves you in a coma.

— Nikhil Saluja

13 year olds having sex and getting drunk? When I was 13 I was injecting heroin and had committed my 4th murder, Pussies.

— Nikhil Saluja

Oh you're the type of girl that uses your personality as birth control.

— Nikhil Saluja

You should actually tweet everything you do - it's your fucking personal diary not twitter.

— Nikhil Saluja

They say treat people the way you like to be treated. I say retweet people the way they retweet you!.

— Nikhil Saluja

The next person who says, Its not the heat, its the humidity will learn that its not my fist, but the impact.

— Nikhil Saluja

Hardly did I know when I met you That we are going to meet often

— Nikhil Saluja

FASCISM You have two cows. The government takes them and sells you the milk.

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE, What we have in common with the residents of all third-world countries;

— Nikhil Saluja

Women are like plug sockets. You have to stick something into all three holes before they work.

— Nikhil Saluja

Imagine meeting someone who understood even the dustiest corners of your mixed up soul.

— Nikhil Saluja

If you hate someone and you want to screw their life, introduce them to Twitter.

— Nikhil Saluja

Some of the greatest quotes, come from the most uncommon of minds.

— Nikhil Saluja