I don't laugh so much at jokes and premises as I do at a guy who goes onstage and starts twitching and… — Harland Williams Copy Share Image
There was a sea of change in comedy in the late 1950s and '60s. We were dealing with vignettes as opposed to… — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
It can take a few months to get a new 10 minutes. Usually it takes like 10 times of repeatedly trying different… — Aziz Ansari Copy Share Image
I went horse back riding today...it was fantastic!, Until I ran out of quarters and the security at the store told me… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my fav cake for me, and I learned that the little things… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Write a smart joke and people want to talk about it and keep the dialogue going. Also, if you can make someone… — Lizz Winstead Copy Share Image
I speculate that the genesis of the chicken-joke lies in some situation such as the one illustrated above, but over time the… — Ryan North Copy Share Image
It had more layers than an onion. These writers meant business. There was a level for everybody. Your major could be celestial… — Billy West Copy Share Image
I make the joke, all the time, that if you have the word "man" and a number in the title, like Batman… — Rob Reiner Copy Share Image
If you do something that is not gags and punchlines and is character-based, where there are no jokes as such, then it… — Darren Boyd Copy Share Image
I went up on stage, and said, "Why did the chicken cross the road? To check out the chicks." I was a… — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share Image
I have seen so few films in which the sex felt really respected by the filmmaker. Hollywood too often shies away from… — John Cameron Mitchell Copy Share Image
I think the novel is essentially a comic form (tragedy is for the theatre), not meaning by that full of jokes, but… — Iris Murdoch Copy Share Image
We used to get 27, 28 minutes to do a story in, and now they're lucky if they get 18 or 20… — Dick Van Dyke Copy Share Image
Thanks to feminism, women can now acquire status in two ways: through marriage or their own achievements. Cure cancer or marry the… — Katha Pollitt Copy Share Image
I put a What Would Jesus Do bracelet on my Jewish friend's wrist and it burned his skin. He threw it on… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
When we hear jokes against women, and we are asked why we don't laugh at them, the answer is easy, simple, and… — Naomi Weisstein Copy Share Image
Instead of dumping all my money on an independent film that nobody would watch and most people would make fun of behind… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
I don't do jokes about elections so that's probably why it went okay for me, except for the crazy people that are… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
Don't worry, Mrs. Colder. For the most part, we keep him leashed and gagged. We only let him free when the cute… — Lora Leigh Copy Share Image
All of a sudden, making a Spanish-American War joke. I think you sort of had to go to probably to an American… — David Mandel Copy Share Image
I was a bit scared because I came from the acting world. There was a fear that people would think of me… — Jana Kramer Copy Share Image
I am fun. I do have a good time. I have a good heart. I'm not all jokes. I'm a pretty serious… — Heidi Montag Copy Share Image
One thing I would say is real cops have real gallows senses of humor and make incredibly funny and inappropriate jokes in… — Daniel J. Goor Copy Share Image
When a bad experience happens, you just chalk it up to the great fact that you just got five more jokes in… — Jeff Dunham Copy Share Image
When once you have got hold of a vulgar joke, you may be certain that you have got hold of a subtle… — Gilbert K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
I've always had a bawdy sense of humor. My father was a traveling salesman and he would bring jokes home. He would… — Betty White Copy Share Image
The jokes I used to do on 'Sex and the City' were always comic character things, and they were rarely hard jokes.… — Michael Patrick King Copy Share Image
Some people know that they are so adorable looking, all they have to do is smile and dress up and they get… — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
How come everybody cheers when chicks flash their T&A, but when I pull out my D&Bs, i'm a registered sex offender. — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
I just don't get if you have ever gotten offended by a joke, why would you go to a comedy club? That's… — Brad Williams Copy Share Image
I find myself being quite cynical - and I think we all kind of are - towards the idea that it's associated… — Thomas Powers Copy Share Image
We are not engaged in a complicated joke disguised as a religion. We are engaged in a religion disguised as a complicated… — Malaclypse the Younger Copy Share Image
You: When I grow up Im gonna go to the moon. Me: Im afraid youre too late, NASA isnt sending the monkeys… — Bubbly Copy Share Image
I bullshit on the phone all day with a variety of people discussing various projects, and occasionally write jokes. — Al Madrigal Copy Share Image
I'm a really stoic artist. I'm serious a lot of times. I can joke and play sometimes, but most of the time,… — LeCrae Copy Share Image
There used to be a cruel joke that said Brazil is the country of the future, and always will be; Obama is… — Charles Krauthammer Copy Share Image
Depending on what my job requirement is, my techniques change. If something is incredibly difficult to connect to, and painful, then I… — Adrien Brody Copy Share Image
Humor must be one of the chief attributes of God. Plants and animals that are distinctly humorous in form and characteristics are… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
You all watched a sketch about feminism and you didn't even know it because of all the jokes. It's like when Jessica… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
