I suspect the soviets never did want to use those bombs. The most Stalinist of Soviet hard-liners - Stalin, for example -… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I don't want to pick a team. I want to make people laugh and hopefully bring some - be humorous about the… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
The humorous man recognizes that absolute purity, absolute justice, absolute logic and perfection are beyond human achievement and that men have been… — Brooks Atkinson Copy Share Image
America is a nation of 270 million people: 100 million of them are gangsters, another 100 million are hustlers, 50 million are… — Tom Robbins Copy Share Image
“Cayl replies...I understand the human reproductive system, Agent Denning; I’m here to capture a killer, not indulge in these intrusive human senses.” — Tielle St. Clare Copy Share Image
“I am in the prime of my womanhood, nunga-nungas poised and trembling (attractively). Lips puckered up and in peak condition for a… — Louise Rennison Copy Share Image
“Do we have a hand mirror?' I asked from the kitchen doorway. 'Never use one,' said Lester, examining the date on a… — Phyllis Reynolds Naylor Copy Share Image
“We are a bed business, and a coffee-room business. We are not a general dining business, nor do we wish it. In… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
I must admit that I do have a particular soft spot for the character of the chameleon-trickster goddess Ris in Dreams of… — Vera Nazarian Copy Share Image
If Charles Lindbergh, flying with no instruments other than a bologna sandwich, managed to cross the Atlantic and land safely on a… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“It was the job of people like me to make up reasons, to spin a plausible yarn. And it’s amazing what people… — Michael Lewis Copy Share Image
“Loeser's favourite book in Blimk's shop, where he spent most of his afternoons, was still Dames! And how to Lay them. He… — Ned Beauman Copy Share Image
Only in America do these peasants, our mothers, get their hair dyed platinum at the age of sixty, and walk up and… — Philip Roth Copy Share Image
The British are proud of their ability to create a muddle and then muddle through all difficulties. I must shake the British… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
The Arab peoples possess an ancient and highly developed civilization that is in many ways more sophisticated than our own. For instance,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Terence, this is stupid stuff: You eat your victuals fast enough; There can't be much amiss, 'tis clear, To see the rate… — A. E. Housman Copy Share Image
“In my experience, the romance novels written about BDSM have about as much in common with actual BDSM relationships as a child… — Nenia Campbell Copy Share Image
“Many obese people spend a significant amount of their energy on suppressing the urge to tell some of the people who are… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I'm not saying that women don't think about sex also. I'm saying that women are capable, for at least brief periods of… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Loneliness tortures many if not most of the elderly more intensely and more frequently than it torments many if not most of… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
In my experience, you run into trouble when you ask a group of beer-drinking men to perform any task more complex than… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I promised myself that if ever I had some money that I would savor a cigar each day after lunch and dinner.… — W. Somerset Maugham Copy Share Image
For the first two years of a child's life, we spend every waking hour tryibg to get the child to communicate. Then… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
“The front door swung open, and Zsadist strode into the house. Wrath glared. "Nice of you to show up, Z. Busy tonight… — J.R. Ward Copy Share Image
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use?… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The conductor is a peculiar person. He turns his back on his friends in the audience, shakes a stick at his players… — Victor Borge Copy Share Image
“Albert Camus did not know he was summing up modern photojournalism when he wrote:"Will I kill myself or have a cup of… — Sacha Hartgers Copy Share Image
“Finding out that you are not your lover’s only lover hurts, but not as much as discovering that you are the side… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Try again. No no no, eyes up, eyes up! When you bow to someone you look at them, not at the floor.… — Stephen Deas Copy Share Image
“In the beginning was the word, and that word was probably misconstrued by someone who then made it into a personal issue… — Ade Bozzay Copy Share Image
“I sensed more than recognized the sound of those skeletal knuckles on the door. I was too young for it to be… — Dan Skinner Copy Share Image
“We are sometimes depressed by our failure to convince people who strongly believe that we are that we are definitely not depressed.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
When you consider the opportunity and power He had to really do a job, and then look at the stupid, ugly little… — Joseph Heller Copy Share Image
“The "word" did not "offer itself" in a take-it-or-leave-it fashion, any more than Caesar's heralds would have said, "If you'd like a… — N.T. Wright Copy Share Image
Like most people who smoked umpteen cigarettes a day, I tasted only the first one. The succeeding umpteen minus one were a… — Clive James Copy Share Image
Get your mind unbound and free; and then from the loosest, highest, best place you have, with the fastest and most humorous… — Stephen Gaskin Copy Share Image
My dad is a very quick-witted, sarcastic, dry, humorous guy, whereas my mom's very silly, and that side of the family is… — Tim Heidecker Copy Share Image
“Character and Plot...Character and Plot Some writers have it and some do not This I'll tell you Brother You can't have one… — Johnny Flora Copy Share Image
I have attended operas, whenever I could not help it, for fourteen years now; I am sure I know of no agony… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
