“The reason politics makes strange bedfellows is because they all like the same bunk.” — Los Angeles Times Copy Share Image
“You don't seem to realise, that in married life three is company and two is none.” — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
In business, the competition will bite you if you keep running, if you stand still, they will swallow you. — Victor Kiam Copy Share Image
All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“It was not that he was feckless, more that he had simply not been around the day they handed out feck.” — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
The church is like manure. Pile it up, and it stinks up the neighborhood. Spread it out, and it enriches the world. — Luis Palau Copy Share Image
I really like the Observer. I think I'd love to have a column with a broad reach that would enable me to… — Toby Young Copy Share Image
When you have shot and killed a man you have in some measure clarified your attitude toward him. You have given a… — R. A. Lafferty Copy Share Image
In particular, there was a butler in a blue coat and bright buttons, who gave quite a winey flavour to the table… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
It's difficult to differentiate between a story that's humorous and clever and one that actually makes people laugh out loud. — Mick Foley Copy Share Image
You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“The older you get, the harder it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have become super… — Sariah Wilson Copy Share Image
Come, let us hasten to a higher plane, Where dyads tread the fairy fields of Venn, Their indices bedecked from one to… — Stanislaw Lem Copy Share Image
This story is not and never was meant to challenge anyone's faith; however, if one's faith can be shaken by stories in… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“I lifted my wand, hoping she would see this as a dramatic move, not a threat. “Why once, in my bunker at… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
The Woman had once been supreme; in France she still seemed potent, not merely as a sentiment but as a force; why… — Henry Adams Copy Share Image
“I just called you corny and said you were wearing a green dress. That's, like, the least flirtatious thing anyone's ever said."… — Claire LaZebnik Copy Share Image
You will notice that what we are aiming at when we fall in love is a very strange paradox. The paradox consists… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I can't even tell you what else I imagined. I can only humiliate myself to such a degree; at a certain point… — Heidi Julavits Copy Share Image
So she went into the garden to cut a cabbage leaf to make an apple pie; and at the same time a… — Samuel Foote Copy Share Image
We are told that Sin consists in acting contrary to God's commands, but we are also told that God is omnipotent. If… — Bertrand Russell Copy Share Image
Many Canadian nationalists harbour the bizarre fear that should we ever reject royalty, we would instantly mutate into Americans, as though the… — Will Ferguson Copy Share Image
“If this was mental illness, or even just a particularly clinical case of adolescence, I was bearing up pretty well.” — Barbara Ehrenreich Copy Share Image
Israeli murderers are called "commandos," Arab commandos are called "terrorists." — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“The important thing for any writer to remember is to take the writing seriously, but not the writer.” — A.E. Poynor Copy Share Image
The humorous look of children is perhaps the most endearing of all the bonds that hold the Cosmos together. — Gilbert K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
Have a happy Mother's Day before your kids reach an age when they're completely jaded about Mother's Day. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Famous people steal my quotes all of the time without knowing; none of it is ever very interesting though.” — Robert DeCoteau Copy Share Image
“Some men’s chests are more buttlike than some women’s butts.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Germans respond well to lies. At least, they always have historically. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Music hath the charm to soothe a savage beast, but I'd try a revolver first. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I admire that about the Republicans: The evidence does not faze them. They are not bothered at all by the facts. — William J. Clinton Copy Share Image
“Unfortunately...I missed out on the California Gold Rush a century before...I'll be dammed if I miss out on this one.” — Timothy Pina Copy Share Image
“Love may be on the horizon, but beware something wicked this way comes.” — Wilkie Martin Copy Share Image
Give an average baby a fair chance, and if it doesn't do something it oughtn't to a doctor should be called in… — Jerome K. Jerome Copy Share Image
