The praying mantis. The inventor of the one-night stand. Wham, bam, off with your head, man! — Laura S Copy Share Image
Instead of incarcerating pedophiles, why don't we use them as crash test dummies? — Laura S Copy Share Image
I think the reason why babies sleep so much is because it's God's way of letting us make it up early for… — Laura S Copy Share Image
When voting for the Pope, it's top secret. No one is to reveal who they voted for. If they do, it's considered… — Laura S Copy Share Image
For Daylight Savings Time I think we should spring forward at 4:00 p.m. on a Friday, and fall back at 9:00 p.m.… — Laura S Copy Share Image
They say that some anti-depressants may actually cause suicidal thoughts. Isn't that like someone with narcalepsy taking a sleeping pill? — Laura S Copy Share Image
Too bad Steve Jobs didn't invent the vacuum. I think the iSuck would have been a big seller. — Laura S Copy Share Image
Daylight Savings Time is an Indiangiver. It gives an hour, then it takes it back. — Laura S Copy Share Image
Parenthood is one of the toughest, non-paying jobs there is that offers nothing but unconditional benefits. — Laura S Copy Share
Monday. The black sheep of the weekdays. The middle finger of the workweek. The weekend-is-over bitchslap. — Laura S Copy Share
To assume that someone who is single is unhappy is as incorrect as to assume that someone who is in a relationship is happy. — Laura S Copy Share
When we're kids, we want to be adults. When we're adults, we want to be kids. When we're old, we want to be younger… — Laura S Copy Share
The world is like one big chemistry class, and we're all seeking the perfect lab partner. — Laura S Copy Share
If they ever made another remake of Joan of Arc, they should use Alicia Keys' song This Girl Is On Fire. — Laura S Copy Share
There are no guaranties in life except for death and this: When you leave the house looking like total crap, you're going to run… — Laura S Copy Share
The Monistat people should use Tony Orlando's song Candida for their commercials. — Laura S Copy Share
