Being the 1% of the population that doesn't receive a cute morning text. — Amit Verma Copy Share Image
Your mom is like a mosquito because when I slapped her she stopped sucking. — Amit Verma Copy Share Image
Asian Pregnancy Test: Insert Rubix Cube into the vagina and pull it out thirty seconds later. If it is solved, you're pregnant. — Amit Verma Copy Share Image
For those who know nothing about how to satisfy a woman: The G spot is located at the end of the word… — Amit Verma Copy Share Image
Why tell social networking sites that you're on your period? Nobody cares if your uterus lining is leaving your body — Amit Verma Copy Share Image
Confidence, self respect, humility, my dick, patience, honesty and loyalty are few of the qualities I want in a woman. — Amit Verma Copy Share Image
10 year old's have a Blackberry, an iPad, a laptop, and a Facebook... When I was 10, I felt cool with my new markers. — Amit Verma Copy Share Image
Parent: Why don't you come socialize with the family? Me: *sits with family* Me: *gets insulted by entire family* Me: *goes back… — Amit Verma Copy Share Image
A lady once called 911 because her local McDonalds had ran out of McNuggets. — Amit Verma Copy Share Image
You can make literally anything sound sexual just by whispering it. the dishes are dirty — Amit Verma Copy Share Image
A serious warning to all my friends. drinking & driving is extremely dangerous . Sunday evening while driving, My friend took his… — Amit Verma Copy Share Image
We are never getting back together is actually about taylor swift's legs. — Amit Verma Copy Share Image
Some People just need a high five . in the face. with a chair , twice from hulk on adrenaline rush. — Amit Verma Copy Share Image
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thought voldemort was ugly, But then I saw you. — Amit Verma Copy Share Image
My girlfriend said your cock is so small... I said a Motor Home is HUGE... Until you park it in the Grand… — Amit Verma Copy Share Image
What's the difference between Justin Bieber and an abortion? I'd pay to see an abortion. — Amit Verma Copy Share Image
Stop complaining about being single. We have bigger problems here. Like why McDonalds doesn't serve breakfast after 10:30. — Amit Verma Copy Share Image
*On a roller coaster* Other People; AHHH! WOOOHOO! - Me: HOLY SHIT. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. I'M GONNA DIE, GET… — Amit Verma Copy Share Image
Females will argue with you for 30mins , then be like I ain't even gonna argue with you. — Amit Verma Copy Share Image
If you tell your friends you're pregnant & they say by who. The you're a hoe — Amit Verma Copy Share Image
Right now you have 3 fingers behind your phone, your pinky tucked under for support, and you're scrolling with your thumb. — Amit Verma Copy Share Image
I don't understand how people approach their crush. I don't even have the guts to ask for an extra ketchup at McDonalds. — Amit Verma Copy Share Image
My girlfriend says I can't focus on two things at once...guess she hasn't noticed me staring at her boobs — Amit Verma Copy Share Image
A Baby's laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear. Unless it's 3AM. And you're homealone, and you… — Amit Verma Copy Share Image
Bitches come to school looking like hell everyday and then Friday they come with they Beyonce outfits on smh — Amit Verma Copy Share
Roses are red grass is greener when I think of you I touch my wiener. Roses are red lemons are sour spread your legs… — Amit Verma Copy Share
*On a roller coaster* Other People; AHHH! WOOOHOO! - Me: HOLY SHIT. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. I'M GONNA DIE, GET ME OFF,… — Amit Verma Copy Share
Yall ever had a friend that borrow your shit, & kept it so long…... you had to borrow it back? — Amit Verma Copy Share
Now I know we said things, did things that we didn't mean, And we fall back into the same patterns, same routine, But your… — Amit Verma Copy Share
Rape,Period,Abuse,Abortion,Pregnancy,Harassment,Breast cancer,Being cheated on ..Females go through a lot. — Amit Verma Copy Share
