Funny facebook status Quotes by Nikhil Saluja · Page 23

Oh, your account is protected? What do you tweet? Nuclear launch codes?

— Nikhil Saluja

Never dance naked because the body has parts that do not stop moving when the music stops.

— Nikhil Saluja

She watch Titanic for the love story. I watch it for one scene with boobs.

— Nikhil Saluja

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe: Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.

— Nikhil Saluja

I feel like I'm a cockroach when I'm sleeping on my back trying to get up

— Nikhil Saluja

There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.

— Nikhil Saluja

Girl's Life Lesson 1: Crying confuses men. They get uncomfortable and will do anything to get it to stop. Take advantage.

— Nikhil Saluja

Facts are meaningless - you could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!

— Nikhil Saluja

He'll never be better than he is on the first date. Unless he's rich and hasn't told you yet.

— Nikhil Saluja

I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones who do.

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm well aware when i've to use suck me or fuck me. Yea I'm classy like that!

— Nikhil Saluja

I typed the word Google into Google. Guess what came up? Everything.

— Nikhil Saluja

People usually say Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Personally, I find it's in big boobs.

— Nikhil Saluja

Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point?

— Nikhil Saluja

Million dollar idea for a sci-fic movie: A world just like ours but with one key difference. When your phone dies, YOU…

— Nikhil Saluja

When you fuck over people who've been nothing but good to you, you create demons for yourself.

— Nikhil Saluja

Etc: The word that makes people think you are smarter than you really are.

— Nikhil Saluja

There are 2 reasons why we dont trust people: 1. We dont know them. 2. We do know them.

— Nikhil Saluja

Lost in words, hidden in lies, memories forgotten, silent goodbyes.

— Nikhil Saluja

Dating your exes again are just like shopping at your own garage sale.

— Nikhil Saluja

Me: I think I could make you very happy She: Why? Are you leaving?

— Nikhil Saluja

Don't forget to tell everyone how you hate Mondays, because we were all wondering how you feel about them.

— Nikhil Saluja

Who are you? Why am I here? I want answers now or I want them eventually!

— Nikhil Saluja

When life gives me lemons, I'm like What's the catch? Because in this expensive world no one's just giving away free lemons.

— Nikhil Saluja

Sometimes you just have to sit down and ask your parents if they sold your soul.

— Nikhil Saluja

I wish people would learn from their mistakes and not keep making the same exact ones, damaging themselves.

— Nikhil Saluja

If you push your brother down the stairs, he will become your step brother.

— Nikhil Saluja

KISSING, A method of getting two people so close together that they can't possibly see anything wrong with each other;

— Nikhil Saluja

Hole (noun) : When a mouse laughs at a cat, there is a hole nearby.

— Nikhil Saluja

My girlfriend told me I'm awful in bed. I don't know how she can tell in 30 seconds.

— Nikhil Saluja

When I said What did I do this time? I really meant What did you catch me doing?

— Nikhil Saluja

Ladies don't ask for much. They just want shoes, diamonds, less work, free money & a perfect man.

— Nikhil Saluja

I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words.

— Nikhil Saluja

One of the great mysteries of life is how a man can leave his car keys in the refrigerator.

— Nikhil Saluja

Women are like coconuts. Sometimes you have to hit them really fucking hard before they will spread open.

— Nikhil Saluja

I usually try not to sound like an idiot but it's really hard because I am an idiot.

— Nikhil Saluja

You know you're on your period when everyone around you has an attitude problem.

— Nikhil Saluja

HUSBAND, FAITHFUL, That man who is married to a trusting wife (a definition that can be either truthful or cynical)

— Nikhil Saluja

Lightning sometimes shocks people because it just doesn't know how to conduct itself.

— Nikhil Saluja

As the auto mechanic said to the Scoutmaster whose car horn was broken, Beep repaired.

— Nikhil Saluja