Funny facebook status Quotes by Nikhil Saluja · Page 21

The Titanic is a great lesson of why just the tip can get you in a lot of trouble.

— Nikhil Saluja

Every father thinks that his son is an idiot, but only my dad is right.

— Nikhil Saluja

I have learned there is little difference in husbands; you might as well keep the first.

— Nikhil Saluja

When William joined the army he disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.

— Nikhil Saluja

I was arrested after my therapist suggested I take something for my kleptomania.

— Nikhil Saluja

I don't have anger issues, I have issues with idiots who make me angry.

— Nikhil Saluja

Pick-Up Line: That blouse looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

— Nikhil Saluja

Math: Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi

— Nikhil Saluja

KISSING, While, medically, it may not spread infection -- it sure lowers a girl's resistance;

— Nikhil Saluja

Million dollar idea: A smart phone that doesn't receive phone calls.

— Nikhil Saluja

Doctor: A person who kills your disease with pills and you with bills.

— Nikhil Saluja

Tears running down my face like rain, who would have ever thought that love would come with so much pain.

— Nikhil Saluja

She: Do You Think Im Fat Now.? Me: No Baby, You Have Just Become My Teddy Bearfrom A Barbie Doll..!! ¥

— Nikhil Saluja

Alcoholic: A person you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

— Nikhil Saluja

If you're going to act like a pussy, you should at least dress like one... Here I bought you the smallest dildo…

— Nikhil Saluja

Instagram and nightclubs are where ugly people go to trick people into thinking they're hot.

— Nikhil Saluja

Women over 200 pounds with a visible thong should have to register as sex offenders.

— Nikhil Saluja

Yesterday, I came home early from work and found my Girlfriend cheating. The lazy bitch has hired a maid for cooking.

— Nikhil Saluja

Sometimes I'll see a girl jogging that's so sexy, I'll jog directly behind her ass until she gets home.

— Nikhil Saluja

If you can't say goodbye to your past, then you just can't say hello to your future.

— Nikhil Saluja

Site Engineer is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.

— Nikhil Saluja

Using Viagra to masturbate is a hardest time in every man's life...

— Nikhil Saluja

I've never felt this way about anyone before. - Every girl, literally every time they like a guy

— Nikhil Saluja

Animal testing is a terrible idea. They get nervous and give the wrong answers.

— Nikhil Saluja

Griddle cakes, pancakes, hotcakes, flapjacks: why are there four names for grilled batter and only one word for love?

— Nikhil Saluja

You know what's fun? Go to a German restaurant and insist on using chopsticks.

— Nikhil Saluja

A lot of women don't like to give blow jobs. On a related note: A lot of marriages fail.

— Nikhil Saluja

It's hard for me to say I love you because the word you isn't beer or sex or football.

— Nikhil Saluja

HUSBAND, TRADITIONAL, A man who expects his wife to help him with the dishes

— Nikhil Saluja

When getting divorced remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.

— Nikhil Saluja

I dont own any stocks or bonds. All my money is tied up in debt.

— Nikhil Saluja

HUSBAND, HENPECKED, A man who is so timid, he is even afraid to talk back to other people's wives

— Nikhil Saluja

When someone says wow you are a pervert , look at them, smile & say it took you this long to figure that out?

— Nikhil Saluja

NASCAR : The most exciting sport for people who have never seen a fucking freeway.

— Nikhil Saluja

If youre protective and tall and sweet and cute and smell good and give good hugs then I want to date you

— Nikhil Saluja

The sight of a womans cleavage reduces a mans ability to think clearly by 50%…per boob.

— Nikhil Saluja

You can always win an argument with a lady during your last few minutes of your life by telling her that she's…

— Nikhil Saluja

HUSBAND, A man who has one mistake in his existence -- and keeps learning from it all his life;

— Nikhil Saluja

My Girlfriend just said that I should stop acting like an year old. I almost choked on her boobs.

— Nikhil Saluja

I would like to open a restaurant, call it the Marilyn Monroe Café, and put hundreds of pictures of Jeff Goldblum on…

— Nikhil Saluja