Facebook status Quotes by Nikhil Saluja · Page 7

2013, still no flying cars instead, twitter with assholes.

— Nikhil Saluja

If you love someone, Don't fuck someone else.

— Nikhil Saluja

There was something about you that I liked, but you spent it!

— Nikhil Saluja

It's so fucking sexist to assume that women have vaginas.

— Nikhil Saluja

My mistakes always learn from me.

— Nikhil Saluja

Women speak in estrogen. Men listen in testosterone.

— Nikhil Saluja

A smile is nearly always inspired by another smile. :) :)

— Nikhil Saluja

Whiskey & Vagina go hand in hand.

— Nikhil Saluja

Even if women came with Terms & Conditions, you still wouldnt read them.

— Nikhil Saluja

Conference: One man's confusion multiplied by the number of people there.

— Nikhil Saluja

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain: Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

— Nikhil Saluja

Not everyone is going to like you and you are not going to like everyone.

— Nikhil Saluja

Ofcourse gay men dress well... They didn't spend all that time in the closet doing nothing

— Nikhil Saluja

I scream, you scream, both of us scream because we are being murdered while eating ice cream.

— Nikhil Saluja

I feel like today is going to be a good day but I am bringing my shotgun just in case.

— Nikhil Saluja

I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.

— Nikhil Saluja

This isn't an office-It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

— Nikhil Saluja

BLOODY HELL FUCKING SHIT GOD DAMNIT I RIPPED MY KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON POSTER!

— Nikhil Saluja

A dentist and a manicurist married. .. . . They fought tooth and nail.

— Nikhil Saluja

I just need a search engine that'll remember exactly what I was about to Google when I forget.

— Nikhil Saluja

Gasp Reflex : The reaction of a new father when he sees the new mother's breasts.

— Nikhil Saluja

The blonde cowboy put glue on his six-shooters so he would always stick to his guns.

— Nikhil Saluja

Now, Marge, don't discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is what separates us from the animals. Except the weasel.

— Nikhil Saluja

Bingo! I love that game, but I can't remember what to say when you win.

— Nikhil Saluja

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine.

— Nikhil Saluja

Lipstick (lip*stik) n. -- On your lips, color to enhance your beauty. On his collar, color only a tramp would wear!

— Nikhil Saluja

Twitter: Where people bitch for everyone's attention and validation from strangers.

— Nikhil Saluja

Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back, unless your tears smell like dog food.

— Nikhil Saluja

For all my haters, I just want you to know that there's no medicine for insecurities so better commit suicide!

— Nikhil Saluja

In some countries being president is just an honorary position --like being a husband in Hollywood.

— Nikhil Saluja

My mind is now so crowded with valuable information that I can't think.

— Nikhil Saluja

I named my first born child after my mother-in-law. In fact, lazy fat ass bitch turns 5 tomorrow.

— Nikhil Saluja

I drove my expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.

— Nikhil Saluja

To feel good about yourself, is there a quota on how many other people each day you have to condemn?

— Nikhil Saluja

Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. -- To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.

— Nikhil Saluja

Sweetie, if you opened a book more times than you opened your legs,you might actually get somewhere in life.

— Nikhil Saluja

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada: Self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.

— Nikhil Saluja

I think the most impressive thing about the activity tab on twitter is that I never use it.

— Nikhil Saluja

God made woman and the other day he made beer because he was like holy fuck, sorry bro.

— Nikhil Saluja

If her husband walks in while you're fucking her... ask him to join. You're already fucked anyways...

— Nikhil Saluja