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Bartender Quote by Todd Barry

“I mean, I've had bartenders and waiters and waitresses make a comment about a joke of mine, like pointing out some sort of logic error or something that I've never even thought about, and they're right.” quote by Todd Barry — Download Open image

“I mean, I've had bartenders and waiters and waitresses make a comment about a joke of mine, like pointing out some sort of logic error or something that I've never even thought about, and they're right.”

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More by Todd Barry

Sometimes they're all collectively thinking, "Wow, we're kinda a shitty audience," and then if you point it out, it's kinda like, "Hey, I know…

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I think people have this "It can't hurt to ask" mentality, which is true on some level. I get comics like, "Hey, will you look at these videos of me on MySpace?" I was like, "Well, who's gonna benefit from that? What if I don't like you?" No, I'm gonna write to a stranger and say, "Hi. You like me,…

I'd rather send out a mass email then hang posters all over the place

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I like pens. My writing is so amazing there's never a need to erase

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I'm particularly proud of my reluctance to share my dreams with anyone.

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I want to release another CD this year, finish writing a screenplay, and make another short film

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I like Cilantro, but you don't have to.

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And the goal really is to make the audience laugh, to bring them some joy.

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I mean, I guess I realized subconsciously that this is what I should be doing before I realized it, consciously. Verbally, I don't think…

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I am the the type to have a personal experience with a celebrity, but I'm too classy to bring that up.

The problem with a lot of comedy clubs is not that they are a comedy club; it's just the cheesy way they're presenting themselves. That's why a lot of people have a problem with them. If you're a relatively unknown comedian, you can play at a comedy club, you might play to hundreds of people every night. But if you…

It was actually 3 years between albums. That seems like a long time to me

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Explore all 60 Todd Barry quotes

More Bartender quotes

My dad was a bartender. My mom was a cashier, a maid and a stock clerk at K-Mart. They never made it big. They were never rich. And yet they were successful. Because just a few decades removed from hopelessness, they made possible for us all the things that had been impossible for them.

From 1965 to 1974, I served the best possible apprenticeship for an actor. I learned firsthand how a truck driver lives, what a bartender…

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Women, you overheated dipsomaniacs, never passing up a chance to wangle a drink, a great boon to bartenders but a bane to us--not to…

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You know you're in trouble, when the bartender cries.

Michael Peterson

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Only one marriage I regret. I remember after I got that marriage license I went across from the license bureau to a bar for…

Ernest Hemingway

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I've had a lot of glamour come my way in the last 10 years - you know, movie stars and mansions and red carpets and trips to Europe and crazy stuff I never would have imagined - and I look at them as if I'm the bartender in the corner of the room. They've never gone into my psyche. I…

Hell, if I didn't do stunts, I'd have had to be a bartender, or something else that didn't pay well.

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Hey, have you heard that one about the difference between me, Wit, and my loutish cousin, Hilarity? No? Okay, so I walk into a bar, you see, very unassuming, and order a martini. Then the bartender, Hilarity, hauls off and squirts me in the face with a seltzer bottle, ruining my n ice new camel hair suit, dousing my monocle…

.. the guitar is just a wonderful instrument. It's everything: a bartender, a psychiatrist, a housewife. It's everything, but it's elusive

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In New York, we tip everyone. We tip doormen, we tip cab drivers, and we tip bartenders at the bar. You'll get quite an…

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Guy goes into a bar with a duck under his arm. Bartender says, "Where'd you get the pig?" Guy says, "This is a duck."…

Rodney Dangerfield

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I gave examples from my clinical practice of how love was not wholly a thought or feeling. I told of how that very evening there would be some man sitting at a bar in the local village, crying into his beer and sputtering to the bartender how much he loved his wife and children while at the same time he…

Browse all 107 Bartender quotes