Quote by Steven Wright Download Open image ““They say the universe is expanding. That should help ease the traffic.”” — Steven Wright ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.7 out of 5 (8 ratings) Copy quoteShare
“Rearrange the infrastructure of your mind to clear out the traffic jam.” — Goldie Nanwani Copy Share Image
“If you see a very long road, think about the universe and realise how so very short it is!” — Mehmet Murat ildan Copy Share Image
“I already have the world. You're just expanding my universe a little bit.” — A. Meredith Walters Copy Share Image
“sometimes it seems as if the universe wants to be noticed!!!” — John Greenleaf Whittier Copy Share Image
“The universe will use any vehicle and any medium to communicate with us. Our job is to be alert and to listen.” — Elaine Seiler Copy Share Image
“There’s a lot of things you need to get across this universe. Warp drive… wormhole refractors… You know the thing you need most of… — The Doctor Copy Share Image
My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked,… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
Nobody can really compare a relationship in which the victim is 15 years old to one where she's 6. While both criminal, they're very different circumstances. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
It's very intense to be in front of a live audience. It's just an amazing experience. It's dangerous. Everything out there is heightened. The… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'do you know the speed limit here is 55 miles per hour?'. So I… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.” — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
When I'm on stage, it's really intense. My mind is going a million miles an hour, trying to remember my act, trying to say… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I don't like politicians, and I don't like politics. I definitely don't want to be associated with any of them. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
