Bird Quote by Steven Wright

“It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused.”

Steven Wright

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Bird Confused Confusing Confusion Died Good thing Good things Gravity Hunters Would be

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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

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My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she…

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If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked,…

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If I ever had twins, I'd use one for parts.

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Nobody can really compare a relationship in which the victim is 15 years old to one where she's 6. While both criminal, they're very different circumstances.

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I saw a tree fall in the woods, and I didn't hear it.

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It's very intense to be in front of a live audience. It's just an amazing experience. It's dangerous. Everything out there is heightened. The…

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I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'do you know the speed limit here is 55 miles per hour?'. So I…

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Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby…

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“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.”

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When I'm on stage, it's really intense. My mind is going a million miles an hour, trying to remember my act, trying to say…

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I don't like politicians, and I don't like politics. I definitely don't want to be associated with any of them.

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Explore all 564 Steven Wright quotes

More Bird quotes

And I have been very blessed, having coached some of the greatest that have ever played the game. But if I had to start…

Red Auerbach

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Some minds corrode and grow inactive under the loss of personal liberty; others grow morbid and irritable; but it is the nature of the…

Washington Irving

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Set the bird's wings with gold and it will never again soar in thesky.

Rabindranath Tagore

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I would rather learn from one bird how to sing than to teach 10,000 stars how not to dance.

e. e. cummings

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Can you imagine any better example of divine creative accomplishment that the consummate flying machine that is a bird? The skeleton, very flexible and…

Guy Murchie