Dollars Quote by Steven Wright Download Open image “I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar.” — Steven Wright ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 2.2 out of 5 (4 ratings) Copy quoteShare Dollars Funny Humor Lottery Lottery ticket Millions Tickets
I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Today I bought two lottery tickets, because I had a feeling that it would be now or never - they were both blanks. So… — Eva Braun Copy Share Image
I have won this lottery. It's a gigantic lottery, and it's called Amazon.com. And I'm using my lottery winnings to push us a little… — Jeff Bezos Copy Share Image
I don't play the lottery, as I feel I have been really lucky in what I have been able to do in my life,… — Timothy Spall Copy Share Image
I may have won the only important lotto ever, which is life, but I am still going to die. We all are. — Shawn Crahan Copy Share Image
I became a millionaire overnight by signing a piece of paper. I made more money in that one second than my entire family did… — Troy Polamalu Copy Share Image
My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked,… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
Nobody can really compare a relationship in which the victim is 15 years old to one where she's 6. While both criminal, they're very different circumstances. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
It's very intense to be in front of a live audience. It's just an amazing experience. It's dangerous. Everything out there is heightened. The… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'do you know the speed limit here is 55 miles per hour?'. So I… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.” — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
When I'm on stage, it's really intense. My mind is going a million miles an hour, trying to remember my act, trying to say… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I don't like politicians, and I don't like politics. I definitely don't want to be associated with any of them. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
If I had a dollar for every time I couldn’t sleep, I could buy a billion locks and finally read a book in peace. — Aesop Rock Copy Share Image
This welfare for wealthy companies wastes taxpayer dollars, harms the environment, and makes a mockery of the recent reductions in federal social spending programs. — Ralph Nader Copy Share Image
I love being in Malibu. It's so cool there, and the water is just, it's nice and, and I love the beach. And I… — Jackie Evancho Copy Share Image
The greatest charity you can contribute to is yourself. Instead of spending a dollar to help feed hungry children, why not spend that dollar… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
If I had a million dollars, I just wouldn't just completely set back. I'd have to get out there and show my face to… — Muddy Waters Copy Share Image
As far as Japan is concerned, I want to help all of our allies, but we are losing billions and billions of dollars. We… — Donald Trump Copy Share Image
Some day I'll write a book and call it 'How I Got the Nickname Pumpsie' and sell it for one dollar, and if everybody… — Pumpsie Green Copy Share Image
I'm part of a team that raises millions of dollars and raises awareness of HIV and AIDS all over the world. — Linda Evangelista Copy Share Image
France has not only built a bureaucratic barrier against American culture, it has constructed a notorious intellectual case against it as well. The French… — Tyler Cowen Copy Share Image
Right now, the government is spending billions of dollars supporting the problem-makers in the U.S. economy - the polluters, despoilers, incarcerators, and warmongers. — Van Jones Copy Share Image
In short, both experience and economic theory imply that the US could now t to a more competitive dollar without experiencing either increased inflation… — Martin Feldstein Copy Share Image
I think we need to talk about mental illness a lot more. People complain about tax dollars and say we don't have the money.… — Nia Long Copy Share Image
