Comedy Quote by Mock of the week the show

“As a young adult I became disenchanted with Valentine’s Day. I’d tell anyone who’d listen that Valentine’s Day was for rotten lovers to make…

— Aaron Blaylock

To someone good, Roses are dead, and Violets are too... If I had the power to rename Valentine's Day, I would call it February…

— Scot

“Not that I’m a fan of Valentine’s, really. I always thought that every day should be Valentine’s. Well, POTENTIALLY Valentine’s at least, if you…

— Lisa Jewell

I can already smell all the roses I'm not going to receive on Valentine's Day.

— Anonymous

Valentine's Day is the poet's holiday.

— Ted Kooser

“If at least most partners and spouses treated their partners and spouses like they matter, at least most of the time, Valentine’s Day would…

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana

For you sheila... HAPPY VANENTINES DAY it's valentines day I'm broke and you know it so instead of a dinner I got you a…

— Dennis

“Valentine's Day is just a capitalist scam, designed to make people currently in a relationship spend unnecessary money in a fruitless attempt to ensure…

— Heather Hepler

“No one messes with the Valentines”

— Kate McCarthy

Remember that Valentines Day is a polite reminder that Christmas decorations must get taken down. . .

— Rick Sutter

Unlikely things to see in a Valentine's card - "I may be dyslexic but that doesn't mean I don't vole you."

— Russell Howard

“In entirety, valentine is a FUCKING DAY, rather than the sanctity of its literal meaning.”

— Michael Bassey Johnson