Dollars Quote by Mitch Hedberg Download Open image “If I had a dollar for every time I said that, I'd be making money in a very weird way.” — Mitch Hedberg ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.7 out of 5 (9 ratings) Copy quoteShare Dollars Ifs Making money Money Said Time Way
If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me that question... wait a minute, I do have a dollar for every time… — Scott Skiles Copy Share Image
If I had to give you a dollar for every time I didn't give a fuck You'd be rich and I'd be broke. — Melany Copy Share Image
If I had a dollar for every time I gave a fuck, I would have $0. -Just Saying — Ephrem Hardin Copy Share
If I had a dollar for evey time someone said to me its the truth, I literally would be a billionaire. — Natasha Buckmaster Copy Share Image
I have $100 billion… You realize I could spend $3 million a day, every day, for the next 100 years? And that's if I… — Bill Gates Copy Share Image
If I had a dollar for every time you've fucked me over, I'd move far, far away from you, and never see you again. — Jesse Reitz Copy Share Image
If I had a dollar for everytime I thought of you I'd only have one dollar, because once you were in my mind you… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If I had a dollar for every time I smiled secretly having you in my mind I think my bank account would show up… — Melville Elijah Stone Copy Share Image
If I got a penny for every time I thought and dreamed about you,I would be rich. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same. So if somebody asks me what time it is, I… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
There was a product on late night TV that you could attach to your garden hose - "You can water your hard-to-reach plants with… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Imagine if you were a drummer, and you accidentally picked up two magic wands instead of sticks. There you are, keeping the beat, the… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I like wearing necklaces, because it lets me know when I'm upside down. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I'm sick of Soup Of The Day, man. It's time we make a decision. I need to know what Soup From Now On is. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I have a friend who is a juggler. If I'm at his house, I don't like to take food from him, if it's in… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I don't get the regular AIDS test anymore. I get the roundabout AIDS test. I ask my friend Brian, "Do you know anybody who… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I don't know how to fix a car. If the car breaks down, and the gas tank does not say "E", I'm screwed. But… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
What's a sesame seed grow into? I don't know we never give them a chance, what the fuck is a sesame?! It's a street...… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I went to a restaurant with my friend, and he said, "Pass the salt." I said, "Screw you! Sit closer to the salt." — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
If I had a dollar for every time I couldn’t sleep, I could buy a billion locks and finally read a book in peace. — Aesop Rock Copy Share Image
This welfare for wealthy companies wastes taxpayer dollars, harms the environment, and makes a mockery of the recent reductions in federal social spending programs. — Ralph Nader Copy Share Image
I love being in Malibu. It's so cool there, and the water is just, it's nice and, and I love the beach. And I… — Jackie Evancho Copy Share Image
The greatest charity you can contribute to is yourself. Instead of spending a dollar to help feed hungry children, why not spend that dollar… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
If I had a million dollars, I just wouldn't just completely set back. I'd have to get out there and show my face to all these good people who like me, I have to get out there and show my face. The only thing that would set me back if I get sick or something or pass away, that's all… — Muddy Waters Copy Share
As far as Japan is concerned, I want to help all of our allies, but we are losing billions and billions of dollars. We… — Donald Trump Copy Share Image
Some day I'll write a book and call it 'How I Got the Nickname Pumpsie' and sell it for one dollar, and if everybody… — Pumpsie Green Copy Share Image
I'm part of a team that raises millions of dollars and raises awareness of HIV and AIDS all over the world. — Linda Evangelista Copy Share Image
France has not only built a bureaucratic barrier against American culture, it has constructed a notorious intellectual case against it as well. The French… — Tyler Cowen Copy Share Image
Right now, the government is spending billions of dollars supporting the problem-makers in the U.S. economy - the polluters, despoilers, incarcerators, and warmongers. — Van Jones Copy Share Image
In short, both experience and economic theory imply that the US could now t to a more competitive dollar without experiencing either increased inflation… — Martin Feldstein Copy Share Image
I think we need to talk about mental illness a lot more. People complain about tax dollars and say we don't have the money.… — Nia Long Copy Share Image
