Birthday Quote by Mitch Hedberg Download Open image “I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.” — Mitch Hedberg ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 3.4 out of 5 (8 ratings) Copy quoteShare Birthday Cake Candle Wanted
I did candles because I wanted a candle to put in my home. I couldn't find one I liked. — Matthew Williamson Copy Share Image
The cake had a trick candle that wouldn't go out, so I didn't get my wish. Which was just that it would always be… — Janet Fitch Copy Share Image
I don't like a too-perfect cake. You want people to know it came from your kitchen and not the cake case in the bakery… — Claire Saffitz Copy Share Image
You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.' — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
If I desire something badly enough, I'll buy it for myself; and this thing will never be a Yankee Candle gift set or a… — Grace Dent Copy Share Image
My boyfriend Told Me If I Bought Him One More Stupid Gift he Would Burn It So I Bought him A Candle :P — Curly_girl Copy Share Image
You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“If you wait for a cake to be given to you so you will be happy- then you will be happy when someone gives… — C. JoyBell C Copy Share Image
So many candles such a small cake. Next year, may your birthday wish be a bigger cake. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake. They said,… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I don't wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same. So if somebody asks me what time it is, I… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
There was a product on late night TV that you could attach to your garden hose - "You can water your hard-to-reach plants with… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Imagine if you were a drummer, and you accidentally picked up two magic wands instead of sticks. There you are, keeping the beat, the… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I like wearing necklaces, because it lets me know when I'm upside down. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I'm sick of Soup Of The Day, man. It's time we make a decision. I need to know what Soup From Now On is. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I have a friend who is a juggler. If I'm at his house, I don't like to take food from him, if it's in… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I don't get the regular AIDS test anymore. I get the roundabout AIDS test. I ask my friend Brian, "Do you know anybody who… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I don't know how to fix a car. If the car breaks down, and the gas tank does not say "E", I'm screwed. But… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
What's a sesame seed grow into? I don't know we never give them a chance, what the fuck is a sesame?! It's a street...… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I went to a restaurant with my friend, and he said, "Pass the salt." I said, "Screw you! Sit closer to the salt." — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I had sort of had a 21st birthday when I was 17, 18 years old living in Japan. I had all of that stuff… — Sarah Wright Copy Share Image
Spiritually, life is a festival, a celebration. Joy is of the essence of life; — Agnivesh Copy Share Image
Here is your third gift from Me once again..I had a fourth gift it was about me making a video telling you how much… — LilBear Copy Share Image
To divide one's life by years is of course to tumble into a trap set by our own arithmetic. The calendar consents to carry… — Clifton Fadiman Copy Share Image
“Jarod Kintz Day—it’s not just my birthday, but it should be a holiday that’s mandatory to celebrate, punishable by death if you don’t. It’ll… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
May Lord bless you abundantly because a sweetheart like you deserves the best! Have a glorious and memorable Birthday! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Happy Birthday To Me,I just turned twenty three(23),I want a new Puppy, And I'll name it Julie:) Chocolate cake anyone all I have leftover,,,… — Becka Miller Copy Share Image
I've always taken care of myself, and I'm a non-conformist, so I don't accept the negativity that comes with birthdays. — Rob Van Dam Copy Share Image
If you're going to do a job, do it right. If you're going to throw a birthday party, make it amazing. If you're going… — Jimmy John Liautaud Copy Share Image
I got Mary pregnant and man that's all she wrote. And for my 19th birthday, I got a union card and a factory coat. — Bruce Springsteen Copy Share Image
