Amazed Quote by Jack Handey

“Too bad you can't just grab a tree by the very tip-top and bend it clear over the ground and then let her fly, because I bet you'd be amazed at all the stuff that comes flying out.” quote by Jack Handey — Download Open image

“Too bad you can't just grab a tree by the very tip-top and bend it clear over the ground and then let her fly, because I bet you'd be amazed at all the stuff that comes flying out.”

Jack Handey

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More by Jack Handey

Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants.

Jack Handey

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I think the best Thanksgiving we ever had was one where we didn't even have a turkey. Mom and Dad sat us kids down and explained that business hadn't been good at Dad's store, so we couldn't afford a turkey. We had vegetables and bread and pie, and it was just fine. Later on, I went into Mom and Dad's…

Jack Handey

At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth X-rays. But then I thought, if a patient said, "How's my back tooth?" and you just looked at it with your X-ray vision and said, "Oh it's okay," then the patient would probably say, "Aren't you…

Jack Handey

Sometimes I wonder if I'm patriotic enough. Yes, I want to kill people, but on both sides.

Jack Handey

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I don't understand people who say life is a mystery, because what is it they want to know?

Jack Handey

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It's probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you're talking to the president, because what if he tells a…

Jack Handey

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Probably to a shark, about the funniest thing there is is a wounded seal, trying to swim to shore, because WHERE DOES HE THINK HE'S GOING?!

Jack Handey

I wish I lived back in the Old West days, because I'd save up my money for about twenty years so I could buy a solid-gold pick. Then I'd go out west and start digging for gold. When someone came up and asked what I was doing, I'd say, "Looking for gold, ya durn fool." He'd say, "Your pick is…

Jack Handey

Why do there have to be rules for everything? It's gotten to the point that rules dominate just about every aspect of our lives.…

Jack Handey

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Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can…

Jack Handey

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Here's a suggestion for a new animal, if some new ones get created or evolve: something that stings you, then laughs at you.

Jack Handey

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When you go ice-skating, try not to swing your arms too much, because that really annoys me.

Jack Handey

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You will never cease to be the most amazed person on earth at what God has done for you on the inside.

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You'd be amazed at pain and tears a single smile hides.

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I'm endlessly amazed by what people are capable of, and incapable of.

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Souls love. That’s what souls do. Egos don’t, but souls do. Become a soul, look around, and you’ll be amazed-all the beings around you are souls. Be one, see one. When many people have this heart connection, then we will know that we are all one, we human beings all over the planet. We will be one. One love. And…

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Contrary to a common myth, while there are general guidelines, there is no exact 'right' way to run ... I am amazed by the…

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I'm always amazed by writers who tell me they plan everything at the beginning. I feel their writing days must be very bland.

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What I am telling you is that you do not need to know to love, and it is right that you feel it all…

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My father was truly a great man. I remember one day putting my feet in my father's shoes. I was amazed at the size.…

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J. Budziszewski is perhaps the clearest and most eloquent natural lawyer writing today. When reading his works I often find myself amazed by his insights and wondering, 'Why didn’t I think of that?' And then it dawns on me, 'That's what C. S. Lewis and G. K. Chesterton do to me as well.' The Line Through the Heart is another…

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I've never ceased to be amazed at the survival skills of poor children. I've learned how much children can actually do for themselves if…

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Mystical experiences (unlike scientific conclusions) cannot be communicated from one person to another. Philosophers and little children are continually amazed that we, unaccountably, find…

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As soon as I arrived I made an attempt to find my host but the two or three people of whom I asked his whereabouts stared at me in such an amazed way and denied so vehemently an knowledge of his movements that I slunk off in the direction of the cocktail table--the only place in the garden where a…

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Amazed Quote by Jack Handey

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