Better off dead Quote by Jack Handey Download Open image “Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait. Not me, you.” — Jack Handey ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 2.4 out of 5 (5 ratings) Copy quoteShare Better off dead
Don't say I'm better off dead. Because heaven's full and hell won't have me. — Bring Me The Horizon Copy Share Image
Don't say I'm better off dead, 'cause Heaven's full and Hell won't have me. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I've said it before, and I'll say it again. If you think you're alive then you're better off dead. — Bring Me The Horizon Copy Share Image
I'm better off dead than being alive. Don't cry for me after I'm gone; cry for me now. — Im Nothing Copy Share Image
Dont say I'm better off dead, cause heavens full & hell wont have me... Wont you make some room in your bed... — Bmth Copy Share Image
If I weren't already dead, I'd have to kill myself just so I could roll over in my grave. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants. — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
I think the best Thanksgiving we ever had was one where we didn't even have a turkey. Mom and Dad sat us kids down… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Sometimes I wonder if I'm patriotic enough. Yes, I want to kill people, but on both sides. — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
I don't understand people who say life is a mystery, because what is it they want to know? — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
It's probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you're talking to the president, because what if he tells a… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Probably to a shark, about the funniest thing there is is a wounded seal, trying to swim to shore, because WHERE DOES HE THINK… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
I wish I lived back in the Old West days, because I'd save up my money for about twenty years so I could buy… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Why do there have to be rules for everything? It's gotten to the point that rules dominate just about every aspect of our lives.… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Here's a suggestion for a new animal, if some new ones get created or evolve: something that stings you, then laughs at you. — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
When you go ice-skating, try not to swing your arms too much, because that really annoys me. — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
“ “Might I ask what it is you’ve discovered Sir? It may help in the care of our two patients when nurse Carstairs arrives tomorrow.”… — C.L. Monaghan Copy Share Image
“Halliday’s favorites, like WarGames, Ghostbusters, Real Genius, Better Off Dead, or Revenge of the Nerds” — Ernest Cline Copy Share Image
People ask why it is I do these things, But they don't know what its like to go to bed and not be able… — Im Nothing Copy Share Image
“It was difficult for Rumfoord to take Billy seriously, since Rumfoord had so long considered Billy a repulsive non-person who would be much better… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“We would all be better off dead, useless eaters of the lotus that we are.” — Michael Moorcock Copy Share Image
If you sense the world is tough, we totally possess the same opinion, only we don't have the same way to build it better,The… — Black Son Beats Copy Share Image
We're starting to feel We stayed together out of fear Of dying alone I've been slipping through the years my old clothes don't fit… — she's_gone Copy Share Image
If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw you into a panic. — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
You say you know me but you really don't know, With the way I feel its no other way I can let my emotions… — She's_gone Copy Share Image
Why do you sit here and cry for me? I am gone and nothing you do will bring me back. But the truth isn't… — Me Copy Share Image
Do you ever get the feeling where you dont want to talk to anybody?you dont want to smile and you dont want to fake… — Me Copy Share Image
