Doctors Quote by Henny Youngman Download Open image “The patient says, "Doctor, it hurts when I do this." "Then don't do that!"” — Henny Youngman ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 3.8 out of 5 (9 ratings) Copy quoteShare Doctor Hurts Doctors Funny Humor Hurt Hurts It hurts Medicine Patience Patient Patient Says Says Doctor
The doctor says to the patient, "Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window". "What will that do" asks the patient.… — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
“What a doctor I’ve got—he’s really mixed up. Last week, he grabbed my knee and told me to cough. Then he hit me in… — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
“Do you know what it's like," he said, "to feel that you're in the wrong body?" "Well actually..." the Doctor began, wiggling his own… — Jacqueline Rayner Copy Share Image
“When you're head over heels about someone, it's a real painkiller. You almost wonder why doctors don't recommend it more.” — Victor Lodato Copy Share Image
“Doctor(to patient): Give me your parent's number so that we can tell them what a bad boy you have been. Patient(Confused, unwilling): You don't… — Durjoy Datta Copy Share Image
“I used to think that pain was my body’s way of telling me something was wrong. Now I think that while that is sometimes… — Paul Klipp Copy Share Image
“I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.” — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
A man goes to a psychiatrist. "Nobody listens to me!" The doctor says, "Next!" — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. "Peanuts. Popcorn." — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living." — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, "Crick". — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I… — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
When other boys dreamt of going to the moon or becoming doctors, I wanted to be a designer. — Olivier Theyskens Copy Share Image
One reason for the tremendous increase in health-care costs in the U.S. is managerial neglect of the "hotel services" by the people who dominate… — Peter Drucker Copy Share Image
being asked to decide between your passion for work and your passion for children was like being asked by your doctor whether you preferred… — Helen Bevington Copy Share Image
I want to roll my eyes right now, but the doctor says that if I keep doing it, my ocular muscles might spasm and… — LIZ Copy Share Image
Heart surgeons do not have the world's smallest egos: when you ask them to name the world's three leading practitioners, they never can remember… — Sara Paretsky Copy Share Image
Do you think that was kind? Do you think it was godlike? What would you think of a physician, if a woman came to… — Helen H. Gardener Copy Share Image
I always wanted to be a fireman, a cop, an Indian chief, a doctor, a lawyer. I always wanted to be all these things,… — Morgan Freeman Copy Share Image
You know, in playing a role like this, you really want to get it right, because this is a person who was revered by… — Mary Stuart Masterson Copy Share Image
I've always been interested in medicine and was pleased when my brother became a doctor. But after thinking seriously about that field, I realized… — Lois Lowry Copy Share Image
Two things suck about becoming an adult male - paying taxes and getting a finger in your butt. — Guy Code Copy Share Image
