« All You Get Quotes · Jack Handey's Page
You Get Quotes by Jack Handey
- If you get invited to your first orgy, don't just show up nude. That's a common mistake. You have to let nudity 'happen.'
- My new millionaire idea is one regular shoe and one "swollen" shoe, for when you get bit by a rattlesnake.
- If you're a blacksmith, probably the proudest day of your life is when you get your first anvil. How innocent you are, little blacksmith.
- When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but…
- If they have moving sidewalks in the future, when you get on them, I think you should have to assume sort of a walking shape…
More You Get Quotes
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- The older you get, the more you realise how happenstance... has helped to determine your path through life. — Rowan Atkinson
- Get that right, then- if you get the quality right, then the marketability or whatever; your ability to sell videos or your… — Rowan Atkinson
- The problem with leaderless uprisings taking over is that you don't always know what you get at the other end. If you… — Chinua Achebe
- I'm absolutely strict about it. When I land, I put my watch right, and I don't care what I feel like, I… — David Attenborough
- The answers you get from literature depend on the questions you pose. — Margaret Atwood
- If it's all instruction, you get annoyed with it and bored, and you stop reading. If it's all entertainment, you read it… — Margaret Atwood
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- You can't start worrying about what's going to happen. You get spastic enough worrying about what's happening now. — Lauren Bacall
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