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Want Quotes by Joan Rivers
- I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.
- A study says owning a dog makes you 10 years younger. My first thought was to rescue two more, but I don't want to go…
- I said to my husband, 'Why don't you call out my name when we're making love?' He said, 'I don't want to wake you up.'
- If you don't want gays in the military, make the uniforms ugly
- I hate McDonald's. I don't want to order my dinner by yelling into a clown's mouth. If I want my face in a clown's mouth,…
- I want to be buried in a Valentino gown and I want Harry Winston to make me a toe tag.
- I've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done You can tune me out, you can click me off, it's OK.…
- But you do have to learn, if you want to be a satirist, you can't be part of the party. Meaning, you can't go horseback…
- I could stop and live carefully but that's ridiculous. I don't want to live carefully.
- Both of my parents got to see me host Carson, thank God. That's all anyone wants: to have their parents see they're going to be…
- I saw what's going on under my chin. I don't want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving.
- At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents.
- I love the Internet, and I love that you can say whatever you want.
- My eyes opened, and the first thing I thought of when I could put thoughts together was I want to be in show business. Never…
- The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.
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