"I hate McDonald's. I don't want to order……" — Joan Rivers
"I hate McDonald's. I don't want to order my dinner by yelling into a clown's mouth. If I want my face in a clown's mouth, I'll tongue kiss Glenn Beck."
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Joan Rivers
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245 Quotes by Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers has 245 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, 'Marry him. You'll double your wardrobe.'
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I'm so fat and I'm so depressed; last night I tried to hang myself - but the rope broke.
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We don't apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don't get…
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Grandchildren can be annoying - how many times can you go: "And the cow goes moo and the pig goes…
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Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitterness, grief…
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I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YOU get better.
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Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.
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I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.
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At my age an affair of the heart is a bypass!
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A child can be taught not to do certain things, such as touch a hot stove, pull lamps off of…
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My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it's missing, and what's there stinks.
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I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never…
See all 245 quotes by Joan Rivers »
More Beck Quotes
This quote is filed under Beck Quotes,
one of 74 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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I'm the artist formally known as Beck. I have a genius wig. When I put that wig on, then the…
— Beck
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I don't put myself on Jeff Beck's level, but I can relate to him when he says he'd rather be…
— Ritchie Blackmore
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I can turn on some jazz guitarist, and he won't do a thing for me, if he's not playing electrically.…
— Ritchie Blackmore
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Have you ever seen Glenn Beck in operation? It is the most terrifying thing. It's so bad that you think…
— Bill Bryson
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A song that sounds simple is just not that easy to write. One of the objectives of this record was…
— Sheryl Crow
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The media didn’t hand it to Obama; after all, the Number One cable news channel, Fox, is right-wing. The Number…
— Paul Begala
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The next time you see John Stossel or Glenn Beck or Rush Limbaugh or Sean Hannity - these Flat Earthers,…
— Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.
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I watch Glenn Beck and he's taught me well. Progressive is the new word for Communist
— Victoria Jackson
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I think if we give Glenn Beck the numbers, he can solve this [the national debt].
— Michele Bachmann
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The arrangement was simply FreedomWorks paid Glenn Beck money and Glenn Beck said nice things about FreedomWorks on the air.…
— Dick Armey
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Glenn Beck is offended! Glenn Beck thinks playing the Nazi card is going too far. Glenn Beck. this is a…
— Lewis Black
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You can't believe how pro gay and pro freedom of speech I am. I'm way out beyond anyone on the…
— Penn Jillette
See all 74 Beck Quotes »