« All Said Quotes · Joan Rivers's Page
Said Quotes by Joan Rivers
- I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, 'Marry him. You'll double your wardrobe.'
- I said to my husband, 'my boobs have gone, my stomach's gone, say something nice about my legs.' He said, 'Blue goes with everything.'
- I was so ugly that my parents sent my picture to 'ripley's believe it or not' - they sent it back and said, "we don't…
- I said to my husband, 'Why don't you call out my name when we're making love?' He said, 'I don't want to wake you up.'
- "I've learned what's funny verbally ain't so funny on e-mail: They don't hear your intonations. Melissa broke up with somebody over that. She tried to…
- I said Justin Bieber looked like a little lesbian -- and I stand by it: He's the daughter Cher wishes she'd had.
- I think it was Cosby who also said to me, 'If only 2 percent of the world thinks you're funny, you'll still fill stadiums for…
- I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property.'
- If youre going to be a romantic idol and try to get every teenage girl to love you, then youd be an ass to come…
More Said Quotes
- Live never to be ashamed if anything you say or do is published around the world, even if what is said is… — Richard Bach
- That money talks, I'll not deny, I heard it once: It said, 'Goodbye'. — Richard Armour
- That said, the question remains: how to strike the balance between free speech and mutual respect in this mixed-up world, both blessed… — Timothy Garton Ash
- If I were to say, 'God, why me?' about the bad things, then I should have said, 'God, why me?' about the… — Arthur Ashe
- The book that convinced me I wanted to be a writer was 'Crime and Punishment'. I put the thing down after reading… — Paul Auster
- My mother always said I must be part Mongolian because of my lotus-pale complexion and squid-ink black hair. — Diane Ackerman
- I came to the conclusion months ago, and I said it to members of Congress, that the only way people are going… — David Axelrod
- I have a master plan as an artist. I've always said I'm not going to be punching nobody's clock. I will work… — Erykah Badu
- Few expected very much of Franklin Roosevelt on Inauguration Day in 1933. Like Barack Obama seventy-six years later, he was succeeding a… — Russell Baker
- I was in college in Washington, D.C. I did three years full-time. I did all my requirements, and my senior year was… — Alec Baldwin
- American history is longer, larger, more various, more beautiful, and more terrible than anything anyone has ever said about it. — James A. Baldwin
- All of the muscles were gone, so that was a real tough time of rebuilding all of that. But you have a… — Christian Bale