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Old Quotes by Joan Rivers
- You know you're getting old when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.
- You know you're getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don't know anyone who can see through it.
- I like colonic irrigation because sometimes you find old jewelry.
- As a wedding gift, Ray J gave Kim Kardashian his profits from their sex tape. It's 'Something Old' as well as 'Something Blew.'
- That baby is so ugly... I've never seen a six-month-old so desperately in need of a wax.
- The people voting for the Oscars are so old. I haven't seen one Academy Award voter with a tampon in her purse.
- Life is so tough. I don't know how old you are, but I've seen so much in a wink. One phone call and your life…
- Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you're funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you.
- I hate old people, I hate children. I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.
- If youre going to be a romantic idol and try to get every teenage girl to love you, then youd be an ass to come…
- The average airplane is 16 years old, and so is the average airplane meal.
More Old Quotes
- In Italy the censor is very old and there are many judges and psychiatrists who analyse you. — Dario Argento
- In poverty and other misfortunes of life, true friends are a sure refuge. The young they keep out of mischief; to the… — Aristotle
- Education is the best provision for old age. — Aristotle
- Bashfulness is an ornament to youth, but a reproach to old age. — Aristotle
- I think it's your own choice if you turn from an angry young man to a bitter, old bastard. — Billie Joe Armstrong
- People are so damned afraid that one day they might wake up and discover that they've grown old. — Billie Joe Armstrong
- If I look at my old lyrics, they seem to be full of rage, but empty. There was an emptiness in my… — Billie Joe Armstrong
- I've been playing rock and roll since I was 16 years old, and now I have a 16-year-old. — Billie Joe Armstrong
- I think when you're 10 years old, it's too much to see something with the threat of death in every episode. Kids… — J. J. Abrams
- It's tough to be a 15- or 16-year-old athlete competing around the country. There's tension, there's media. I had no idea what… — Lance Armstrong
- In every age 'the good old days' were a myth. No one ever thought they were good at the time. For every… — Brooks Atkinson
- When old people speak it is not because of the sweetness of words in our mouths; it is because we see something… — Chinua Achebe