"That baby is so ugly... I've never seen……" — Joan Rivers
"That baby is so ugly... I've never seen a six-month-old so desperately in need of a wax."
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Joan Rivers
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245 Quotes by Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers has 245 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, 'Marry him. You'll double your wardrobe.'
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I'm so fat and I'm so depressed; last night I tried to hang myself - but the rope broke.
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We don't apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don't get…
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Grandchildren can be annoying - how many times can you go: "And the cow goes moo and the pig goes…
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Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitterness, grief…
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I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YOU get better.
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Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.
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I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.
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At my age an affair of the heart is a bypass!
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A child can be taught not to do certain things, such as touch a hot stove, pull lamps off of…
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My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it's missing, and what's there stinks.
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I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never…
See all 245 quotes by Joan Rivers »
More Baby Quotes
This quote is filed under Baby Quotes,
one of 5,122 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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Apart from anything else, I am designed by evolution, like we all are: if we see a little thing like…
— David Attenborough
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A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her…
— Enid Bagnold
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There is a 'sanctity' involved with bringing a child into this world: it is better than bombing one out of…
— James A. Baldwin
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I talked about adopting a baby when I was 20 years old, before it became 'hip.'
— Tyra Banks
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It's not like I want to hop on a bandwagon, because I said it 15 years ago - bringing a…
— Tyra Banks
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It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why…
— Dave Barry
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If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you…
— Dave Barry
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I feel like some of my baby fat is going away, and that's not just physically, it's psychologically. I think…
— Drew Barrymore
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There is no dream of love, however ideal it may be, which does not end up with a fat, greedy…
— Charles Baudelaire
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I have no TV, thank God. I haven't heard anything about Tom Cruise, except that he had a baby, I…
— Emmanuelle Beart
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If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
— Milton Berle
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Having a baby takes so much from you. It's the most glorious thing you'll ever do, but the aftermath is…
— Halle Berry
See all 5,122 Baby Quotes »