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Mean Old Quotes by Jack Handey
1 Mean Old quote by Jack Handey
More Quotes by Jack Handey
Jack Handey has 402 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:
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If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have to say.
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I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
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People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side, which is…
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The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
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I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived in a…
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If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater, because then people would sing about me and I…
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Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a…
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What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you…
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Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire…
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MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all get into the car -…
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I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy brows." Then…
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More Mean Old Quotes
Popular Mean Old quotes from across the collection:
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I had to audition for the part of Jnior, and I wanted the role terribly because I knew it was a great…
— Dominic Chianese
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I remember how the other kids used to say that old Mister Swenson was the meanest man in town. But I said…
— Jack Handey
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It's a mean old world, but its up to us to make it heaven, here and now.
— Robert Palmer
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So violent. You want to mug and tase everybody these days." "I do," Zuzana agreed. "I swear I hate more poeple every…
— Laini Taylor
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You're a mean old man, Your Grace." "And that is the way it should be." Roial informed. "Mean young men are trivial,…
— Brandon Sanderson
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You mean old books?" "Stories written before space travel but about space travel." "How could there have been stories about space travel…
— Philip K. Dick
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Barney's Dad was really bad so Barney hatched a plan when his dad said "Eat your peas." Barney shouted no and ran…
— Bill Watterson
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Was it a camp?" Daniel asked. Sean nodded. "A naturist camp." "Maya will feel right at home", Corey said from his spot…
— Kelley Armstrong
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In America, we hurry-which is well; but when the day's work is done, we go on thinking of losses and gains, we…
— Mark Twain
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