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Little Quotes by George Carlin
- If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very…
- The Golden Gate Bridge should have a long bungee cord for people who aren't quite ready to commit suicide but want to get in a…
- We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing
- We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up…
- Let me get a sip of water here...you figure this stuff is safe to drink? Actually, I don't care, I drink it anyway. You know…
- So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
- I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
- Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.
- I'm happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.
- The child molester skipped breakfast, but said he'd grab a little something on the way to work.
- People can't seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure. Ever. There is only a short pause before…
- Sometimes a little brain damage can help.
- And off we go, out onto the highway looking for a little fun. Perhaps a flatbed truck loaded with human cadavers will explode in front…
- I'll tell you a little secret about the Blues: it's not enough to know which notes to play, you have to know why they need…
- People are wonderful. I love individuals. I hate groups of people. I hate a group of people with a 'common purpose'. 'Cause pretty soon they…
- You wouldn't know it, from some of the things I've said over the years, but I like people... I do... I like people, but I…
- Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony with that big hammer slams it on the head of…
- The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What…
More Little Quotes
- No notice is taken of a little evil, but when it increases it strikes the eye. — Aristotle
- When it comes to the point where you occasionally look forward to being in prison on the basis that you might be… — Julian Assange
- When we were making the law, when we were writing the literature and the mathematics the grandfarthers of Blair and little Bush… — Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf
- I don't miss anything ever. Because to me, missing something is like going backward a little bit. I don't miss being in… — Fred Armisen
- The police can't protect consumers. People need to be more aware and educated about identity theft. You need to be a little… — Frank Abagnale
- When I was a little kid - and even still - I loved magic tricks. When I saw how movies got made… — J. J. Abrams
- Science has not yet mastered prophecy. We predict too much for the next year and yet far too little for the next… — Neil Armstrong
- Banks are so protected from liability they would have to really do something that was their mistake in order for them to… — Frank Abagnale
- If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a little faster. — Isaac Asimov
- Guns are evil! And very little good comes from the availability of a bullet designed to kill human beings! — Mackenzie Astin
- Apart from the fact that your physical ability starts to decline, I also think someone in their fifties being childlike becomes a… — Rowan Atkinson
- In TV, and in particular in commercials, you don't really need to explain very much at all - you just say he's… — Rowan Atkinson