Joke Quotes

1327 quotes by 1003 authors

For years and years, I was beset with snide remarks by certain members of the press, where they would turn John Oates into a joke,… — Daryl Hall
The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is a joke - the fact that Madonna is in before Rush and Kiss. Those two bands have… — Corey Taylor
I say things I get away with, and it becomes a joke. — Don Rickles
Half the battle is that people have to like you before you say one joke, one bit of humor. — Don Rickles
The old joke was Mitch Leigh, land baron, barren land. — Mitch Leigh
I loved Omar Vizquel. He tells some really long jokes, and he has his own way of telling them, but he can make every joke… — Steve Finley
I have some bad feet. But really, my main fault would probably be my personality. A lot of times, I am not serious enough. I… — Tim Hudson
Any comic is a very good actor. Look at Don Rickles. He is saying the same joke every night for 20 years and making it… — Joan Rivers
I always joke that everything else that I do is to support my theater habit. — Megan Hilty
Whatever happened to a good pie-in-the-face joke? — Brooke Elliott
I legit can not parallel park. This is no joke! — Jennifer Damiano
A lot of times in movies, especially in sequels, the characters become caricatures and just sort of improv machines and joke machines, rather than people… — Hayden Schlossberg
I always joke with people that having nephews is the best birth control there is. — Tahj Mowry
Humor can bring people under the tent. And a good joke can deflect some of the intensity surrounding a serious subject. — Ted Danson
There is nothing - nothing - like writing a great joke and having that joke kill onstage. — Judy Gold
Yoga in America is a joke. — Bikram Choudhury
At university level, I had an economics lecturer who used to joke that I was the only student who handed in essays on British Airways… — Sebastian Coe
A comic strip has a rhythm and a pattern, and you got to get in and out quick. So you set up a joke, tell… — Stephan Pastis
As I grow older, I become more and more of a Marxist - Groucho, that is. When you have lived two-thirds of your life, you… — Karen DeCrow
Telling a joke is risk taking. Younger people are more insecure and not willing to put themselves on the line, so a quick one-liner is… — Robert Orben

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1,003 authors contributed a total of 1,327 Joke Quotes, led by these top contributors: