Joke Quotes

1327 quotes by 1003 authors

She's you, without your conscience, or your feelings. She's you without your humanity." "You're saying she's a mood swing?" He shrugged. "Or maybe you're her… — Derek Landy
Anna Petrovna (to Shabelsky): You can't make a simple joke without an injection of venom. You are a poisonous man. Joking apart, Count, you're very… — Anton Chekhov
Honestly, Jared, one thing at a time. Why are you in a well with me? This is a really bad rescue!" [...] "I called the… — Sarah Rees Brennan
I dislike boats," Ragnor observed, looking around. "I get vilely seasick." The turning green joke was too easy. Magnus was not going to stoop to… — Cassandra Clare
Death," said Akiva. His life was leaving him fast now that he no longer held his wound. His eyes just wanted to drift closed. "I'm… — Laini Taylor
Life plays the same lovely and agonizing joke on all of us. — F. Scott Fitzgerald
Whatâ€™s the deal with the hair?â€ Curran tore his gaze from the book and grimaced. â€œGrows every flare. Canâ€™t help it." We stared at each… — Ilona Andrews
Percy, meet Gladiola. Gladiola, Percy." I stared at Annabeth, figuring she'd crack up at this practical joke they were playing on me, but she looked… — Rick Riordan
If you can't joke about the most horrendous things in the world, what's the point of jokes? What's the point in having humor? Humor is… — Ricky Gervais
A joke is a good camouflage. Next best comes sentiment... But the best camouflage of all - in my opinion - is the plain and… — Max Frisch
The signs of excessive indulgence in this destructive pastime are easily detectable. They are these: A disposition to eat, to drink, to smoke, to meet… — Mark Twain
There was always another side to a joke, the side of the victim. — Graham Greene
He was saying that the end of the world wasn't an accident; it was a joke. — Holly Black
A joke's a very serious thing. — Charles Churchill
It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor. — Max Eastman
The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him. — Oscar Wilde
I cannot and will not cut my conscience to fit this year's fashions. — Lillian Hellman
At bottom the world isn't a joke. We only joke about it to avoid an issue with someone, to let someone know that we know… — Robert Frost
As for pictures and museums, that don't trouble me. The worst of going abroad is that you've always got to look at things of that… — Margaret Oliphant
I learnt that fame is an illusion and everything about it is just a joke. I'm far more dangerous now, because I don't care at… — Joe Strummer

Who Wrote These Joke Quotes

1,003 authors contributed a total of 1,327 Joke Quotes, led by these top contributors: