Joke Quotes

1327 quotes by 1003 authors

Donâ€™t you do that.â€ She turned away from the mirror, toward him. â€œDonâ€™t you dare make a joke. It took a great deal of courage… — Tessa Dare
Querida, it's alright," he said. "No one has hurt me in years." "Hey, you're supposed to be my brother," I said, trying to joke. "Brother's… — L.A. Weatherly
Priests were metal-reinforced overshoes. They saved your soles. This is an Assassin joke. — Terry Pratchett
Here's a tip. If you touch a girl, even as joke, and she pushes you off, leave... her... alone. Don't touch her. Anywhere! Just stop.… — Jay Asher
There's a wonderful old Italian joke about a poor man who goes to church every day and prays before the statue of a great saint,'Dear… — Elizabeth Gilbert
I couldn't joke about the person who'd saved me from facing absolute heartbreak at home, who fed my family boxes of sweets, who ran to… — Kiera Cass
I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set… — Neil Gaiman
She laughed when there was no joke. She danced when there was no music. She had no friends, yet she was the friendliest person in… — Jerry Spinelli
Alec," Magnus said. He put a hand on his boyfriendâ€™s shoulder; Alec was standing still, staring angrily at the floor. "Are you okay?" Alec looked… — Cassandra Clare
It was almost funny. Life seemed downright accidental in its brevity, and death a punch line to a lousy joke. — Maureen Johnson
They always prided themselves on looking youthful. â€œFortyâ€™s the new thirty,â€ theyâ€™d joke. Until heartbreak and grief enter your life, and then fortyâ€™s the new… — Melina Marchetta
Maybe I was what Leah thought she was. Some kind of dead end that shouldnâ€™t be passed on to another generation. Or maybe it was… — Stephenie Meyer
I particularly scorn my fondness for paradox. I despise pessimism, narcissism, solipsism, truculence, word-play, and pusillanimity, my chiefer inclinations; loathe self-loathers ergo me; have no… — John Barth
if you like the lovable sound of an asthma attack in your ear every time you tell a joke. — Kiera Cass
teenagers are never joking. when seeking to prove a point, principals and teachers should remember that teenagers are never, ever sarcasic or ironic. if they… — David Levithan
You know when I told you the joke about how a friend will help you move, but a real friend will help you move a… — Brad Thor
Is that a joke? Please tell me you're joking. -Sophie I never joke about carnivorous bunnies. -Luca — Rachel Vincent
Where do you come up with these zingers, Clint? Do you own some kind of joke factory in Indonesia where you've got eight-year-olds working ninety… — John Green
A point, like a joke, is a terrible thing to miss. — Christopher Hitchens
This is where men, even the trustiest, fail us. Their heart is never so wholly given to any matter but that some trifle of a… — C.S. Lewis

Who Wrote These Joke Quotes

1,003 authors contributed a total of 1,327 Joke Quotes, led by these top contributors: