Joke Quotes

1327 quotes by 1003 authors

It is not the most distinguished achievements that men's virtues or vices may be best discovered; but very often an action of small note. An… — Plutarch
In order to be able to write a good joke, you have to find the truth. — Roseanne Barr
The rationale for tenure is still valid. But the system has turned the academy into one of the most conservative and costly institutions in the… — Francis Fukuyama
A lot of people who look at my photographs think it is an easy joke, but it does take a bit of thinking about. — Alison Jackson
There can be a science to joke writing, there are certainly rules and patterns that can be followed, but I think most of the best… — Robin Ince
There is a painful joke that Europeans often tell of their Gallic neighbors: God created France, the most beautiful country in the world with so… — Janine di Giovanni
I watch children a great deal; their idea is that rules are always negotiable, whereas you absolutely cannot joke at the airport about your toothpaste,… — Natalie Jeremijenko
Candidates should be extremely cautious in displaying a sense of humor. If he or she tells a joke with a point, there is almost certain… — Jack Germond
My mom always liked the idea of us acting - me and my sister - like, one of us trying it. But my dad always… — Matt Prokop
When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a civil engineer. No joke. I would come home from school and build bridges out… — Bitsie Tulloch
At nine, my mom used to tell me she saw an Olympic medalist in me. I used to take it as a joke, but she… — Saina Nehwal
I like to joke that I probably hold the world record for rejection letters. Yes, the truth is that I was fed up of being… — Ashwin Sanghi
A lot of times, you could play me just the laughs from my set, and I could tell you, from the laugh, what the joke… — Jerry Seinfeld
Usually, my favorite joke is whichever joke I most recently came up with that surprised me the first time I thought of it. — Demetri Martin
I have a great pic of my father and Rev. Graham laughing hysterically at some joke with George Pratt Shultz looking on back in 1972… — Ben Stein
The idea that any performer type is owed anything is a joke to me. — Henry Rollins
The Nobel Peace Prize has always been a joke - albeit a grim one. Alfred Bernhard Nobel famously invented dynamite and felt sorry about it. — P.J. O'Rourke
When I write, I create really absurd situations which become false because I am after the joke. — Sally Phillips
Pretension is a poor joke that you play on yourself. Snap out of it. Recognise your strengths, work on your weaknesses. Real achievement is liking… — Virat Kohli
I typically start out almost every speech I give making some kind of joke about me being in a wheelchair. — Greg Abbott

Who Wrote These Joke Quotes

1,003 authors contributed a total of 1,327 Joke Quotes, led by these top contributors: