Joke Quotes

1327 quotes by 1003 authors

She was too muchâ€”for Zenith, Ohio. Sheâ€™d tried at times to make herself smaller, to fit neatly into the ordered lines of expectation. But somehow,… — Libba Bray
And I ask myself what it is about me that makes this wonderful, beautiful woman return. Is it because I'm pathetic, helpless in my current… — Mohsin Hamid
People are too lazy and too stupid to think for themselves that we've got sitcoms with canned laughter that let's you know when to laugh… — Marilyn Manson
Like water leaking through a dam," said Piper. "Yeah," smiled Percy. "We've got a dam hole." "What?" Piper asked. "Nothing," he said. "Inside joke. — Rick Riordan
Nefarious. This is what we get when we hire a Yale boy.â€ â€œYou missed sacrosanct earlier. And taciturn and glowering,â€ Jack said. â€œWhatâ€™s glowering?â€ â€œMe,… — Julie James
Are they real fires? Or are people just reacting to something? Just because thereâ€™s an alarm going doesnâ€™t mean itâ€™s a fire. And I think… — Chris Rock
So, great. This is Campâ€¦what do you call it? Camp Fish-Blood?â€ Aphros frowned. â€œI hope that was a joke. This is Camp __________.â€ He made… — Rick Riordan
He looked gravely at the king. "It isn't an easy thing to give your loyalty to someone you don't know, especially when that person chooses… — Megan Whalen Turner
Failure and unhappiness is easier because you can make a joke out of it. — David Nicholls
Blake understood. Treated it like a joke, but he understood. He saw the cracks in society, saw the little men in masks trying to hold… — Alan Moore
I said I kicked a French chicken in the stomach once." "Huh?" "It said, 'Oeuf.'" "What is that?" "It's a joke. Do you want to… — Jonathan Safran Foer
What are they waiting to see?" Sam follows my gaze and I shrug. "Who knows? You could always do a dance, or tell a joke,… — Sophie Kinsella
Is there any other way to Erudite headquarters?" I say. "Not that I now of," says Cara. "Unless you want to jump from one roof… — Veronica Roth
...My point is, I went crazy. When I saw what a black, awful joke the world was. I went crazy as a coot! I admit… — Alan Moore
(Finland is a famously introverted nation. Finnish joke: How can you tell if a Finn likes you? He's staring at your shoes instead of his… — Susan Cain
You can be merry with the king, you can share a joke with him. But as Thomas More used to say, it's like sporting with… — Hilary Mantel
Have you ever heard of the theory of relativity?" Artemis blinked. "Is this a joke? I have traveled through time, Doctor. I think I know… — Eoin Colfer
There is always the risk: something is good and good and good and good, and then all at once it gets awkward. All at once,… — John Green
The joke was that President Bush only declared war when Starbucks was hit. You can mess with the U.N. all you want, but when you… — Chris Kyle
It's all a joke! Everything anybody ever valued or struggled for... it's all a monstrous, demented gag! So why can't you see the funny side?… — Alan Moore

Who Wrote These Joke Quotes

1,003 authors contributed a total of 1,327 Joke Quotes, led by these top contributors: