« All I Guess Quotes · Jack Handey's Page
I Guess Quotes by Jack Handey
- I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived in a cave and because…
- MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all get into the car - I forget what…
- My young son asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our…
- If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave man,…
- I think the best Thanksgiving we ever had was one where we didn't even have a turkey. Mom and Dad sat us kids down and…
- Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait.…
- I guess the hard thing for a lot of people to accept is why God would allow me to go running through their yards, yelling…
- I guess I kinda lost control, because in the middle of the play I ran up and lit the evil puppet villain on fire. No,…
- It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just…
- When this girl at the museum asked me who I liked better, Monet or Manet, I said, "I like mayonnaise." She just stared at me,…
- Marta said I don't seem to like to read fiction very much. "I guess you're not an 'afictionado'," she said. Poor Marta. For all her…
- If the captain invited me to his party, after he had whipped me earlier in the day, up on deck, I guess I'd go, but…
- He was the kind of man who was not ashamed to show affection. I guess that's what I hated about him.
- I guess more bad things have been done in the name of progress than any other. I myself have been guilty of this. When I…
- I guess we were all guilty, in a way. We all shot him, we all skinned him, and we all got a complimentary bumper sticker…
- Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.
More I Guess Quotes
- I guess I wanted to leave America for awhile. It wasn't that I wanted to become an expatriate, or just never come… — Paul Auster
- I guess we all like to be recognized not for one piece of fireworks, but for the ledger of our daily work. — Neil Armstrong
- I grew up in a working-class family, so I guess you could say I write from what I know. — Andrea Arnold
- I guess I do prefer a ball cap. I have performed without a cap, mostly at funerals and weddings. — Rodney Atkins
- All I wanted to do was write - at the time, poems, and prose, too. I guess my ambition was simply to… — Paul Auster
- I guess the toughest things in translations are word play, which can never be reproduced exactly. — Paul Auster
- If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem. — Richard Bach
- I guess I watch more MTV than you do. I'm a junkie for it. — Sebastian Bach
- It's too easy to do your own site to not have one these days. I guess everyone has one. — Sebastian Bach
- I guess subconsciously that all the great people you work with have an influence on you. — Eric Bana
- I guess I'm a very keen observer, and I'd like to think I have a good imagination. — Eric Bana
- I guess YouTube is the new destination spot for music videos. That's where I go. — Travis Barker